Monday, September 30, 2013

#111 session

Today was another good day.  I've been enjoying looking around lately.  I think I've been seeing more.  Nearly all indicators are moving in the right direction.   Columns is doing great.  I'm moving really fast with it, and it's getting quite solid.  I noticed particular improvement today when I was jumping from side to side with the star-shaped sheet, and there was very little movement, on the opposite side of the fixing eye, which means there was less need for correction.  The corresponding eye knows where to go immediately.

Right now, I'm sort of cruising.  I am excited to see what the week brings in terms of all of the extra things I expect to see.

Sunday, September 29, 2013

#110 session

Today was another good eye day.  It was really pretty amazing how good my eyes felt.  I could feel the lazy eye doing more work and behaving more like a regular eye.  And also, I could see quite a bit more.  It's not stereopsis, but it was quite a spectacle.  It was really nice looking around.  I'm wondering if it has to with the fact that I got pretty intoxicated yesterday.  I mentioned back maybe a month ago that heavy drinking maybe once a month might be beneficial as it possibly makes it easier for the to ignore brain to ignore old pathways.  In my experience, after a heavy night of drinking, I'll notice positive changes in my vision the very next day.  Of course, other than rare episodes of sporadic drinking, I hardly drink at all.  Alcohol is basically a pretty destructive drug, unless used in moderation.  In fact, the damage it does to dendrites is perhaps why it can be useful.

Columns went very well.  I think speeding up the metronome was a very good idea.  I have it going to to 120 beats per minute when I do the normal columns sheet.  When I go to the star-shaped sheet, I move it back to 92 beats per minute.  It's working better and I'm getting better at making it seem like a whole picture even though they're two images separated by a barrier between my eyes.  It's hard to say whether it's the Columns which is improving the Columns, or if it's the light tube that's improving the Columns.  Honestly, I think it's the light tube, but probably both.

Bouncy went very well.  It's good to have that pair of exercises to cover both saccadic and smooth pursuit movements.  It was initially a bit tough, but I tilted my head to load the activity, and while I couldn't get rid of the hypertropia and esotropia, after a few minutes it was nearly gone.  I think this is a good exercise.  Saccades went well.  There is still the lag on the right side, but it's awesome pretty much nearly everywhere else.

The light tube was great.  It took nearly only a minute to get both of the images accommodated for, so it is a process that is continually getting better and more refined.  Eventually, there will be no waiting at all, I imagine.  I did have to pay attention pretty much the entire time to make sure that the double images stayed accommodated.  The light did get extremely bright.  When it does this, I get excited.  Anyway.  Good stuff.

Friday, September 27, 2013

#109 session

Columns went alright.  I decided to increase the tempo to around 97 bmp on the metronome.  It seemed to increase the load of the workout.

Bouncy and saccades went alright.

Light tube, again, was pretty good.  I spent a pretty good chunk of the time fully accommodated.  Hopefully I'll soon be able to make that 100% of the time.

As far as Bouncy and saccades go, I might try to do some tranaglyph exercises to increase my divergence ability, especially on the extreme right.

Now that I have insurance as well, I might see about getting contact lenses.  I suspect that I may have some slight accommodation insufficiency.  If I can get both of my eyes on the same page as much as possible, it should make fusion simpler.  This is one of the things that Heather said that her doctor had her do.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

#108 session

It was another good day, although probably not as good as yesterday.  I have a feeling that, based on how exercises went today, that I will notice some changes tomorrow.

Columns was good.  Today it was particularly stable as I jumped around the middle of the star.  The was significantly less correction required.

Bouncy was quite good actually.  I'd started experimenting by tilting my head to the left and right to see what impact that had on the double vision.  It really didn't have a big impact, which is a positive indicator.  After all, when a binocularly normal person tilts his head to the left or right he doesn't suddenly get diplopia.  But people with strabismus often do have an unconscious head tilt they implement in order to avoid diplopia.  So the fact that tilting my head one way or another doesn't have a big impact on diplopia is a positive indicator.

Saccades as eh... that feels like it's regressing a little.  I'm starting to experience lag again when I saccade to the right.  That's something which had nearly disappeared when I was doing Special Tetris. So maybe the fact that I temporarily stopped doing Special Tetris is why saccades aren't as good.  I don't know.  But I do know that I saw quite a bit of overall improvement when I stopped.  Maybe it's because Special Tetris was decreasing the efficacy of the other exercises; maybe it's because Special Tetris is so intense that it requires taking breaks from it... and then when your body recuperates it's better than before.  Who knows.

Light tube went really well--again.  It took a minute or so to get the double images accommodated.  I feel like that process is speeding up.  I did resist some hypertropia today.  It can be quite a struggle trying to maintain accommodation on both eyes, while keeping track of vergence while correcting for hypertropia.  But when I let one of those facets relax for a moment, I sometimes get a big blast of magenta light come through.  I can feel the channels widening, letting more light through into the visual cortex.  It's a great feeling.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

#107 session

Today was yet another good eye day.  I wonder how an Australian would say that.

I'm still noticing the stereo effects getting stronger, just like the prior day.  Every once in a while I will glance at something, and I will get some pop--it happened when I did a quick glance near my steering wheel.  I couldn't help but think about Sue.  But still, even with the quick pops, especially when I'm walking down a corridor or driving down the street, the input from the other eye is noticeable and a permanent feature of my vision now.  I guess that means less suppression.

Columns was very good today, especially near the 15 minute mark.  When I fix with the lazy eye, the other eye's vision is getting more solid.  That's all I can really say about it I suppose.  One of the weird things I'd always noticed about my vision is that when I fix with my good eye, I can see stuff relatively well with the lazy eye if I pay close attention.  However, when I would fix with the lazy eye, I could practically see nothing with the other eye.  It was weird, because it was definitely there, but as much as I would try, I couldn't perceive anything for input from the good eye when I was fixing with the lazy eye.  It was as if it was in another universe.

That's one of the things that was like a splinter in my mind, because one of the questions I'd always ask myself is 'how does this or that aspect of my vision compare to how I would imagine that it would function for a binocularly normal person?'  I would always ask questions like that as a means of guiding myself toward my goals.  And obviously, that's very, very bad if you can't see any of the good eye's input when you fix with your lazy eye.  But now, that problem which was always a bastard to think about is actually being expressly addressed by this beautiful exercise that Heather taught me.  The pieces are finally beginning to line up.

Bouncy was alright, but not great.  There's still esotropia, and I make sure not to tilt my head.  I'm not too worried about it though.  Saccades were alright, but not great other.

The light tube went really, really well.  I just switched to the magenta Alpha Delta filters, which, as I remembered them, tend to show accommodation mismatch pretty vividly and unapologetically (your shit's busted, sir).  For the first minute or so I dealt with fighting the accommodation mismatch until it was pretty under control.  It's something that I have to be conscious about pretty much the entire time.  Sometimes I take a break, and when I do take a break and relax, the light becomes uber bright.  It's the brightest I remember it being.  It's almost blinding.  When I have both double images in near perfect focus, I do notice that I have to resist against some hypertropia again, probably because I'm allowed to use the eye more, and so whatever hypertropia is there is unacceptable to the brain.  ok...  Let's see how things are tomorrow.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

#106 session

Today was a really 'good eye' day.  I noticed it yesterday as well, but today was even better.  I'm seeing more detail and more depth to a new extent.  I wonder if it's the new stress of the new job, or if the job has forced me to change my schedule.  But there are a number of things that I've been doing differently in the past few days.
  • I've been doing an hour or more of yoga every day after work at the gym.  Yoga is freaking brutal if you're a somewhat big guy like me (I'm about 200 lbs).  I also feel incredibly good when I'm done.
  • I'm doing light tube exercises once a day for 40 minutes instead of twice a day for 20 minutes at a time.
  • I stopped playing Special Tetris (at least for now).  
  • I do Columns for about five minutes in the morning and for about 20 minutes when I do my evening exercises.  
Columns keeps getting better and better.  The whole scene is much more solid and doing the exercise feels more natural than before.  When I hop around from letter to letter on the star-shaped sheet while trying to pay attention to the whole star, I'm noticing that when I fix on a letter with my left eye, the letters and whole scene that I'm seeing simultaneously with the right eye is much more solid, and 'there'.  

Bouncy can still improve quite a bit.  When I look to the right, I do get some esotropia still.   Saccades went alright as well.  

The light tube is going great lately.  There was some initial resistance against the hypetropia, but it went away as the session continued.  The light is still getting quite a bit brighter, and the difference in accommodation between each eye is definitely very significantly going down as a result of me focusing on relaxing, and only putting in the bare minimum amount of effort in order to get the fixing eye to accommodate as it should.  

Tomorrow--Alpha Delta filters.  It's definitely a rollercoaster. Just the other day I was demoralized as all hell.  Now I seem to be doing alright again.  

Monday, September 23, 2013

#105 session

I just started my new job so I won't have as much time to do VT.  I'm still planning on doing something around an hour or so per day.  I'm going to take a break from Special Tetris right now and focus on Columns and light tube.

Columns went well.  I'm noticing that it's beginning to appear differently, and more whole.  I've still been doing a lot of work on the peripheral vision in the center of the start sheet.  It's looking pretty good.

I've been making progress with the light tube lately.  I have more control over the accommodation difference problem now.  I just can't wait to get to the Alpha Delta filters on Wednesday.  Then I can focus on Columns while doing light tube filters on the Alpha Delta filters.  That's what Heather Essex Thomas was doing when she gained stereopsis.

As far as subjective experience is concerned, I've been making strides.  I still see quite a bit of hypertropia in my lazy eye at times.  But at other times, it's almost invisible.  So I shouldn't be too concerned when I see it at times.  After all, some people who have real stereopsis report that sometimes their eyes will do weird things if they're tired or stressed out.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

#104 session

Columns is going well.  There was no real difference from yesterday.

Special Tetris does seem to be improving and becoming more stable.

Bouncy and saccades went well, I suppose.

I'm seeing more detail with the light tube now that it seems that I'm almost done with getting rid of the accommodation difference between each eye.  So that's nice.


Friday, September 20, 2013

#103 session

Columns went alright.  It is getting easier.

Special Tetris was fine.  It's improving.  I've been focusing a bit more on trying to get the pieces into focus.

Bouncy and saccades went well.  Bouncy is so fast.  I try to not tilt my head since that's my tendency, and then I get some hypertropia (i.e., the left double image ball goes down).  But even without tilting, I'm able to get it more even.  Saccades are looking really freaking good.

Light tube--I'm focusing on getting both double images in focus.  It turns out that I can do it, which is actually sort of a big deal.

I know there was a sort of debate going on in my FB group as to whether you should focus on motor fusion or sensory fusion first.  Emanuele stresses focusing on sensory fusion as a starting point, and then building on whatever fusion ability you may already have.  I should try adding some sensory fusion exercises, especially now that my peripheral vision is getting quite good.  I just wonder what some sensory fusion exercises are.  I know that I've been playing quite a bit of Alien Breed in stereo 3d on my computer lately.  Perhaps that can count as a sensory fusion exercise?  I'll do some research.


Thursday, September 19, 2013

#102 session

Columns... hmm, went alright.  I am beginning to see more stability when I swap from eye to eye and still try and see the same star.  Usually what happens is when I fix with my lazy eye, the corresponding side is lower or higher.  But it's getting better.

Special Tetris, I think, is actually getting less blurry, and more solid.  Playing at high speed is getting easier.

I adjusted Bouncy to make the ball bigger, and to also move around a lot faster.  I think it's much better that way.  I don't see a whole lot of hypertropia when I play, although I am noticing esotropia.  I guess it's a good game to gauge where the misalignment is so that I can make adjustments to exercises to address that particular misalignment.  Saccades went well.  I'm amazed at how far I've come along with saccades.  I can hop almost exactly right to the correct point.

Light tube went pretty well compared to yesterday.  Keeping in mind the things that I said yesterday, I was actually able to keep both images in focus for a while, which was exciting.  When that happens, it gets a lot brighter, and considering that I'm already using the bright yellow/green filters, it feels all that much brighter.


#101 session

Columns are progressing, I think.  I've added a new type of mini-exercise within the main exercise.  As always I do some warmups with the main column sheet.  Then I go to to star-shaped sheet and focus near the center.  I hop and fix on letters near the center, switching from one eye to another.  And with each saccade I make, I pay attention to the whole star.  It seems like good exercise.

Special Tetris went alright.  I think suppression may be lowering still.  There isn't much cyclodeviation, but I have started to pay more attention to it to get it lower.

Saccades and Bouncy went well.  I've got to modify bouncy so that it goes faster and so the ball is bigger.  But I think Bouncy is a great addition to the regimen.

The light tube got my attention today.  I've lately been getting pretty frustrated with where I am.  I know that progress is moving along at a brisk pace, but I can't help but feel like I may never reach my goals, and I'm not where I should be.  When I looked into the light tube I noticed that I still have the out of sync accommodation problem, and I got frustrated by it, because it's still there, and I don't know how to get rid of it even after all of this time.  I tried doing the old fudging method by pulling the images apart and getting them accommodate, and then while keeping them accommodated, pulling them back together.  It seemed to work a little.  Then I thought about what others had said about trying to relax.  So I tried that, and tried to stay as calm as possible and use only the conscious mechanisms needed for accommodation and vergence and nothing else.  It seemed helpful.  I'm going to try and be more aware of this with future light tube exercises.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

#100 session

Yaaa, session #100... w00t... :(.... :(................ shit.

Columns did go well though.  When I saccade from eye to eye, I am noticing less of a difference in the difficulty in order to be able to see a whole picture.  So things are improving on that front.

Special Tetris.... yeah, the only thing I'm really noticing is less suppression as time goes on.  I am seeing some cyclodeviation, but it's harder to control because when the falling pieces slide past the stacked pieces, it's hard to see the cyclodeviation very precisely as a result of the suppression.   That will change once I reverse the filters again next week.

I went to the bright green/yellow Mu Delta filters for the light tube today, which was nice.  Every go-around with the light tube it appears differently.  So even though I'm now at #100, I'm not too bothered.  As long as I see steady progress that's what's important to me.  In fact, when I look at my eyes today, I saw hardly any hypertropia at all.  Last night when I took pictures, it was significantly lower than I'd seen it before.  There was some of the accommodation difference, but it's changing; it's becoming less and less.

I also did Bouncy and saccades.  Bouncy was actually better than it was yesterday.  Nice!  There was less perceived hypertropia, and it feels like I am on track to getting to see just one ball.


Monday, September 16, 2013

#99 session

Columns went well.  I am noticing changes in how I see the Columns paper itself.  I'm noticing that I am seeing more of it all simultaneously.  I am still doing it the way that I last described.  I go through the normal sheet a few times, and then I focus on the star-shaped sheet and pay attention to the middle area, where I focus on the letters 'SEA'.  I jump around those letters fixing on surrounding letters, while simultaneously trying to see the word 'SEA'.  It's good exercise on the peripheral vision.

Special Tetris was good.  The picture is starting to look better with the filters set to red/cyan.  It's starting to look more focused and more stable.  I will probably keep them this way for a week, and then start alternating next week so I can have some basis for comparison.

The light tube was actually sort of a pain in the ass again.  It was very strenuous fighting against the hypertropia.  It was also just strenuous in general--it's hard to explain.

I did three minutes of saccades and three minutes of Bouncy.  It's good stuff.  I've been neglecting doing it lately, but I'm going to try and get back into it.


Sunday, September 15, 2013

#98 session

Columns went well.   I'm seeing quite a bit more as a result of that exercise, I'm sure.

Special Tetris went well.  I haven't gone back to the normal cyan/red way of looking at it yet.  I'm still doing red/cyan because it's still quite a bit challenging.  It's a very different sensation from the other way around because the stacked pieces are like a background, especially when they take up a large part of the screen.  And since the lazy eye is what sees the stacked pieces, and since what the lazy eye sees tends to drift around it's a bit disorienting, because it's like the whole world is moving around.  But lately that's been improving a lot, so it's become much more stable.  And also, the suppression is apparently going down quite a bit.  I think Special Tetris may be working better as an antisuppressive this way when looking through the filters as red/cyan (assuming that your left eye is your lazy eye).

The light tube went alright.  I was able to get the lazy eye image in clear focus much quicker today, probably because I paid special attention to it.  One of the weird things that I noticed early on in my vision therapy exercises is that the input from one of my eyes appears to be bigger (the lazy eye).  I noticed that initially when I was doing the Brock String.  I was really wondering why that was, but then I suddenly realized.  It's because of how I was tilting my head (probably as a result of my hypetropia).  The left eye was actually closer to the beads than my right eye.  I tilted my head the other way, and sure enough, the right-side image of the bead then got bigger by comparison.  The reason I mention that is because in my Facebook group I heard of a new condition called aniseikonia.  Aniseikonia is a condition in which one of the double images appears larger than the other.  I wonder how many people think they have aniseikonia, but in reality, one eye is just closer to the object in question than the other.

Yeah, I was thinking about that when I was doing light tube earlier today.  I was like 'hmm, the left-side image looks bigger... oh yeah...' and then I fix my gaze and then it appears normally.


Saturday, September 14, 2013

#97 session

Columns went alright.  I'm noticing improvement in getting the whole picture consistent with itself when I swap eyes.

Special Tetris is alright.  I am still doing red left/cyan right for now until I have something close to parity with the colors reversed.

The light tube went well.  I'm noticing that it takes me around five minutes initially to get the left image of the red glowing circle to come in clearly.  I will give it a lot of attention and try to get it to come in clearly, but it just takes a long time.  Hopefully the amount of time to do that goes down and then it will just begin to happen automatically.  There was no need to fix the hypteropia this time around.


Friday, September 13, 2013

#96 session

I'm becoming more convinced that Columns is a great exercise--although I no longer do it the way that you're supposed to do it.  I've improvised and adapted it for my own purposes.  I do five or six go-throughs with the regular column sheet, and then I go to the star-shaped columns sheet.  Then I go through all of the rows once, and then I start going back and forth in the center of the star.  I'm constantly fixing on one side and then switching to the corresponding side according to the metronome beat, but while I'm doing that, I'm trying to pay attention to the entire scene, using my peripheral vision.

In the very center, you'll see SEA.  I'll saccade back and forth between S and A.   When I fix on the S with my lazy eye, I'll do my best so that I can see the EA with the regular eye.   This is not a natural thing for me to do, but I've been getting much better at it.  Then when I fix on the A, I try to make it so that I can see the S just as well as I could see the EA in the previous beat of the metronome.  I'll stay in that area for most of the duration of the exercise and try saccading to random areas which are separated by the divider.

I'm getting much better at that exercise, and it seems to occur at the same time that I'm seeing quite a bit more in the past few days.  Even when I drive, it seems I can see nearly everything simultaneously--all of the mirrors.  All subjective indicators look positive.

I just did Special Tetris again with the filters inverted so that my lazy eye sees the stacked blocks and the fixing eye sees the falling blocks.  It was much better than the previous day, and there was significantly less suppression.

The light tube went well.  There's still some difference in the accommodation in each eye.  Today and the past days I've been fighting the hypertropia quite a bit.


Thursday, September 12, 2013

#95 session

Columns saw some pretty good improvement over last time.  I'm learning that this exercise is good for a number of different things.  It's good for building motor control, integrating input from each eye into a bigger picture, and more recently, building peripheral vision--something which is really important for developing stereopsis.  Lately I've been doing five or six go-throughs with the regular columns sheet, and then I go to sheet with the symbols making a cross and diagonal pattern.

Then I saccade from one side to another on a rhythm switching from one eye to another.  As the diagonal lines meet up at the middle, I become more aware of each side while I fix on the one of the sides.  The other side that I'm not fixing with, tends to drift a little.  So when I'm looking at 'A' on the left-hand side, 'Q' on the right-hand side drifts a little and will move out of alignment a little.  And when I fix on 'Q', 'A' on the other side will start to drift a little, and it will come in a little fuzzy.  Of course, even though it drifts a little, I do have some conscious control of it, and I can make it stay where it should be.  So I've been practicing this, just going back and forth, fixing on one side and then fixing on the other, while simultaneously trying to keep the corresponding side where it should be.  Then I move upward where the columns move farther away from one another.  It gets a little harder here.  It really works your peripheral vision, and it's challenging.

Special Tetris was different.  I used some of my new filters which have the colored sheets in the different sides, so that now my lazy eye is seeing the stacked pieces and the fixing eye is seeing the falling pieces.  This actually made it much tougher than the other way around, so I decided to go with it.  After all, a binocularly normal person shouldn't have a preference one way or another.  I figure if I can get good at the game using the filters either way, then I can begin to perceive things more in line with the way that a binocularly normal person does--which is the whole point of me doing vision therapy.

It was actually pretty blurry--both the falling pieces and the stacked pieces.  I don't know why.  And also, I noticed quite a lot of suppression, since I'm now looking at the stacked pieces with the lazy eye.  So when the stacked pieces build up, there's quite a lot for my suppressing lazy eye to see.  And so when the falling piece comes by, a huge chunk of the stacked pieces fade away.  Interesting.  It's not completely unexpected, but it's still good feedback.

The light tube went well.  It was pretty brutal actually.  I was back at it again, fighting the hypertropia.  I hadn't had those days in a week or so, it feels like.  It's interesting because the last time I looked at myself in the eye, I had very little hypertropia remaining.  So I'm definitely engaging the lazy eye to an unprecedented level.


Wednesday, September 11, 2013

#94 session

Hmm, Columns went well.  I did them for 20 minutes.  They're not really tired now.  I just try to give each saccade my full attention for the duration of each beat.  One of the things I'm now doing when I do the diagonal sheet is when I get to the middle parts, it's easy for me to see and notice both pairs of symbols simultaneously.  When I get to that part it feels like I'm getting close to the idea of the whole exercise.  So when I'm fixing on one half of the pair, the other side drifts a little, even though I can see both pretty clearly.  And when I saccade over to the other half of the pair, the other half starts to drift a little.  So I fix on one half, I try to pay attention to the other half simultaneously so that it doesn't drift around so much, so that it stays put, as if it's a whole picture.  I'm getting better at that.  The whole idea is to make it all one scene, even though it's a construction of both eyes whose input is completely separated.  So that's getting better.

Special Tetris went well.  There was some cyclodeviation.  I'm not noticing much difference between the different sessions for now.  I'm just putting in my time... putting in the old 'college try', whatever the hell that expression means.  I think I got it right.

I switched the light tube over to the dark red Alpha Omega filters, which was nice.  There was an initial difference in accommodation between the two eyes, but as time went on, that difference diminished.

I am continually noticing small incremental improvements in my perception of depth nearly every day.  Now I'm starting to notice it when I look at, say, my legs.  My body seems more solid.  So that's good.  It's not stopping.  It's good for morale.  I'll just keep going as long as my morale is in good condition.  But knowing me, I'll probably keep going regardless.


Tuesday, September 10, 2013

#93 session

The light tube went well.  This will be my last day with the Mu Upsilon filters, since I switched to them midweek last week since I spent an extra amount of time with the magenta Alpha Delta filters.

Special Tetris was good.  There were changes that I noticed from yesterday, but it was all a matter of degree.  That said, it was very good.  My eyes want to automatically follow the falling block in a grid pattern.

Columns went well.   My eyes are no longer tired from doing the exercise.  I'm thinking I might switch the exercise around tomorrow so that I do Columns first, and then Special Tetris, and then light tube.  This is because by doing motor exercises first, I'm thinking that might encourage my brain to let the extra information come in when I'm doing antisuppression exercises since there should be less diplopia--at least in theory.  I think I'll give that a try.

The world looks more depthy every day.  I just want it to go faster.  


Monday, September 9, 2013

#92 session

The light tube went well.  I am starting to notice more input from the lazy eye coming in... like the lefthand side of the glowing circle is becoming bigger.  The accommodation out-of-sync problem is still there, but it diminishes some as I continue with the session.

Special Tetris went very well.  It has improved so much since the first time I played it.

Columns went well.  It's becoming more of a full picture than ever before.  I'm not getting tired so much as I was initially.  I've figured out that I can load the game by staring at the letters and numbers 'hard'.  But you have to do it carefully because if you stare at it too hard, you'll look at it for too long and you won't give the proper amount of time to the next beat.  I guess the point is that it's easy to give something a quick glance and not fully accommodate for it.  But if you look at it hard and you're aware of the time constraints, you can look at it quickly and fully accommodate for it.

When I do the diagonal sheets and do the columns where the columns come closer to one another with each row, eventually they come really close to one another, and I get a strange sensation.  It almost seems like rivalry.  I'm wondering if that's going to continue to become more prevalent and happen more with columns that are even more distant from one another.


Sunday, September 8, 2013

#91 session

Wow... I'm getting close to session #100.

There was nothing really notable about the light tube exercise.  It's going well, but there's still quite a bit of missing detail from the lazy eye, although I expect some changes pretty soon.

Special Tetris went exceedingly well.   The effort required to do it was very little.  I didn't really get tired, and all of the indicators that I normally look for indicate a lot of good progress.  For example, there was very little driftage.  It's as if my lazy eye is very quickly on its way to being a fixing eye.  This time around there was no misalignment issues at all.  And when the falling pieces slid past the stacked pieces, I could tell that the grid lines lined up almost perfectly.  It's not yet quite there, but it's very close.  There was very little perceived cyclodeviation.  There was very little suppression when the falling pieces slide past the stacked pieces.  One thing that would often happen before is that when a falling piece would slide past a stacked piece, the stacked pieces would fade away a little.  This is the type of thing that I have come to expect when I do antisuppression exercises, but it's almost gone now.

Then I did Columns.  This time it wasn't nearly as stressful/painful as it normally is.  It's still uncomfortable.  I am noticing changes in the way that I'm doing it already.  The whole scene is becoming more solid, as if my two eyes are one, even though their input is completely separated by the divider.

Heather told me 'it's as if the brain needs to know what it's like for the lazy eye to move'.  She said she likes this exercise because she can feel her eyes moving and working.   In my own mind, yes, I suppose.  But your brain knows how that eye feels when it does work.  I don't think the exercise is effective expressly because it shows your brain what it's like for that eye to do work.  Because I can alternate with that eye and use it as a fixing eye all I want, but it's not going to make the two eyes work together.

I think the effectiveness of the exercise has something to do with the fact that you're constantly alternating between the two eyes on a rhythm.  Not only are you training motor control, but I can feel a lot of work being done with accommodation, especially with the lazy eye.  Then if you combine this with a powerful antisupression exercise, such as light tube and Special Tetris, you've got a killer combination.  Columns gives you good eye control, so that when you look around the world, you experience less diplopia and less visual conflict.  Then you do antisuppression exercises, and then the brain just lets the information in because the visual conflict that it's experiencing is becoming less and less.  I think that's why those two exercises were so powerful for Heather.  Maybe the sensory training had a bit to do with it as well.


Saturday, September 7, 2013

#90 session

The light tube went well.  I'm noticing the input from the lazy eye starting to play a bigger role in the entire scene.  So that's good.  Today I noticed very little difference in the accommodation in each eye.

Special Tetris saw a significant improvement over yesterday.  I don't remember encountering a single misalignment during this session.  Also, keeping the falling pieces in a nice grid-like pattern is getting easier and it was significantly more precise than yesterday.

Columns went well.  I do about two sheets, and then I take a 30 second break, and then I do another two sheets, until the 20 minutes is up.  I'm not that tired right now, but it is a really strenuous workout. The reason it's strenuous is because my lazy eye is comparatively weak.   I will keep it up until it's no longer strenuous.  Then we'll see where I'm at.


Friday, September 6, 2013

Regimen switch-up

I'm going to alter my regimen.  I'm going to be doing the following things twice a day now:
  • 20 minutes of light tube
  • 45 minutes of Special Tetris
  • 15 minutes of Columns
  • 10 minutes of Bouncy and saccades
So that looks like three hours per day.  Yeah, I want to get this done.

#89 session

Midweek, I switched to the Mu Upsilon filters, which I'm now using.   I can't particularly think of anything interesting to say.  There is still some accommodation difference between the two eyes.

I did Special Tetris for 45 minutes this morning.  I've switched up the routine a bit.  Special Tetris went well.  One of the weaker areas I have is the falling pieces when they're near the top.  It's harder to get them aligned up there, but today, it was quite a bit easier.

My eyes are pretty exhausted as we speak because of a new exercise that I started doing.  It's an exercise that Heather told me about which she calls Columns.  You can find a description of it from me at this posting.  She recommended that I do it for five minutes because I'll likely get exhausted from it.  It did it for 20 minutes with some breaks in between.  It is an exhausting workout, but it seems to be pretty effective.  When Heather gained stereopsis she was doing only light tube and Columns.

I think my new regimen is going to be for me to do twice a day:

  • 20 minutes of light tube
  • 45 minutes of Special Tetris
  • 20 minutes of Columns
  • 10 minutes of saccades/bouncy

Thursday, September 5, 2013

#88 session

One of the things that I've been noticing when I do the light tube that I haven't yet mentioned is that when I first look into it, the lazy-eye image is pretty blurry initially.  Then after a few minutes of warm-up, I'm able to get it clear, and lately, the other image pretty clear--although not completely.  I slept like shit last night, so exercises weren't as good as they should have been.  After about five minutes of doing the Alpha Delta filters, it occurred to me that I should move on to Mu Upsilon.  So I did the rest of the 20 minutes with those dark greenish blue Mu Upsilon filters.  There was some noticeable accommodation difference between those two images.

Special Tetris went noticeably well today, as compared to yesterday.  There was some perceived cyclodeviation, but it was nowhere near where it was yesterday.  I've only had a few misaligned falling pieces in the whole 1.5 hours that I did it, which is unprecedented.  I'm also not nearly as exhausted from doing it as I normally am.  There was very little lazy-eye driftage as compared to other days.  I also got the highest score that I have yet got.  I attribute this to the fact that there's less correction that I have to do these days, and I have so much practice doing correction that there's less effort involved in doing it.

.... and that's all I got for now.


Wednesday, September 4, 2013

#87 session

There's still some accommodation difference with the light tube, but there's very little of it.  I am probably going to do the full week with the Alpha Delta filters.  I'm sticking with them for now because it feels right.  Even as I read this text, I'm seeing very little accommodation difference between the two double images.

Special Tetris went well.  There was quite a bit of initial cyclodeviation, but it went down quite a bit by the time I went onto my next 45 minutes.  Something new that I noticed is that I'm noticing very little accommodation difference between the falling pieces and the stacking pieces--that is, they're both coming in quite clearly.  Usually the falling pieces are clear and the stacked pieces are somewhat blurry.  The whole scene is becoming more solid.  All positive indicators.


Tuesday, September 3, 2013

#86 session

Especially today I've noticed quite a bit of difference in the quality of my vision.  Still, when I took a picture of my eyes last night, I saw quite a bit of hypertropia.  Weird.  I wonder if I'm going to still have hypertropia when I look at myself in the mirror in that way when I have stereopsis.  We're going to see.  I have so many questions that I want answers to but I won't have those answers until I'm done. Will I still have anomalous correspondence when I have fixed my vision?

When I looked into the tube, I noticed almost no difference in the accommodation with either of the double images.  The only thing that's obvious is that the lazy-eye image is drifting around a bit, and I'm also not getting full detail from that eye as a result of the suppression.  Other than that, I've been trying to notice any difference in accommodation and squelching it when it appears.  I've also been trying to get the brightness from the lazy-eye image as high as possible.  As with many other things, I've gained some conscious control in realtime as to how much my brain uses the input from the lazy eye.  The more the eye is used, the brighter the whole scene appears.

As for Special Tetris, this session went quite well.  I noticed quite a lot of cyclodeviation this time around, but as time went on, I was--and this is still amazing to me--able to untwist the perceived twisted image of the lazy eye.  I'm noticing quite a bit less 'driftage' this time around.  I mentioned what I mean by driftage in previous entries.  It's exactly what it sounds like.  For the most part the lazy eye's input doesn't stay stationary compared to the fixing eye.  Rather, it drifts around, like a shaky unstabilized video feed.  I imagine this is because the eye isn't yet fully integrated with the brain and the vestibulo-ocular system.  I know Heather told me that she knew exactly what I meant by 'driftage'.  But anyway--I'm seeing less of that when I play Special Tetris these days.  Much less.  And also, the proper alignment of the falling pieces is becoming much more automatic.  All positive indicators.  Everything is moving along as it should.

I've also been incorporating some older exercises, such as bouncy ball, and saccades for good measure.  I usually do those for another ten minutes.  I've been doing a crapload of VT lately.  I want to get as much work done as possible before I start my new job.


Monday, September 2, 2013

#85 session

I'm noticing very little difference in accommodation between my two eyes when I look into the light tube.  It was a very productive week.  There's not much more to say about the light tube other than that.  I'm probably going to keep using the Alpha Delta filters until Wednesday.  I may even keep using them until I have stereopsis.  I remember that magenta filters are what Heather Essex Thomas used when she gained stereopsis.  Those were the only filters that were ever prescribed to her.  I've noticed that they are particularly effective.  Maybe that's just the power of suggestion.  Regardless, I'll make the decision when the time comes.

Special Tetris went very well, starting with last night.  I did something like four hours of VT yesterday.   I did 1.5 hours of Special Tetris in the morning, and another 1.5 hours before I went to bed.  In the second set of 45 minutes I did, I started noticing a change in the way that I was aligning the pieces.  It was as if the alignment was beginning to be automatic.  It started feeling kind of sticky--especially with vertical alignment.  The horizontal alignment was still quite a bit free to move around.

This morning, I started noticing this 'stickiness' within the first ten minutes of my first 45 minute set.  The alignment is improving quite a bit.  I'm noticing that the energy that I'm putting into making the constant correction is getting to be less and less.  I'm not even particularly tired right now.  Sometimes the alignment of the pieces will get stuck where they're not supposed to be.  I can often tell because I can see the stacked pieces with my left eye very faintly if I pay close attention.  If I see the faint ghost image, then I know I'm not aligned properly so it's a useful feedback.

This is all good news.  These new changes reflect the way that I imagine that a binocularly normal person would see this game.  It's interesting.  Michael Lievens said that he had his brother (who is binocularly normal) try and play this game.  He asked him whether he noticed anything when the falling piece landed.  This is because when the piece lands, you switch from the left eye to the right eye.  In theory, a binocularly normal person shouldn't notice anything except for a change in color of the piece.  The brother said he wasn't sure, but he said that it felt weird.  Then Michael told him to shut one eye.  He said 'oh...'.  That's just funny as hell to me that he didn't even notice that he was playing Special Tetris until he shut an eye.  Anyway, hopefully someday that will be me.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

#84 session

Light tube... hmm, it's going well?  It has been challenging in a rather sporadic way.  I'm not sure whether that's a result of changes in my vision.  I am noticing rapid changes in my vision.  I'm definitely in a phase a rapid change.  So I notice that I'm fighting the hypertropia very significantly on some days, and not so much other days.  Last night it was pretty significant... this morning, not so much.  There's not much to report on the accommodation differences between each eye.  It's about the same.  I'm going to keep the Alpha Delta filters going for another three days, I'm thinking, until I switch to Mu Upsilon (the dark green filters).

Special Tetris went very well.  It's pretty exhausting to make the corrections.  After the first 45 minutes, I usually take a five minute break and cup my eyes with my palms.  Then I get back into it.  Sometimes I can't do another 45 minutes.  It's just too exhausting.  But yeah, I'm playing the game from pretty far away these days.  This game is just so well suited for vision therapy that it's ridiculous.  It's so easy to load the game.  To load it, you just sit back and play from a farther distance.  And then after that, the game naturally speeds up, and when the falling pieces speed up, it gets much more difficult and stressful on the eyes to make the required changes.  When I'm at around line 100, it's impossible for my lazy eye to adjust in time and get the falling pieces aligned with the stacking pieces.  But then when I finally die, it starts over again.  I just let the pieces fall naturally and I track them and make sure that they're falling in a grid pattern.  I never push the pieces down.  I never let myself forget that this is a vision therapy exercise--not a game.

At that slow initial pace, it's easy to align the pieces properly.  But it naturally and slowly gets faster and more challenging, slowly adding load to the workout.  Like I said, Tetris is beautifully suited as a vision therapy exercise.

I can notice as the day goes on that my vision very significantly improves and since I'm in a period of such rapid progress I can notice improvement on a daily basis.  So it's something that I can look forward to and think 'I wonder what the world is going to look like later in the day.'.