Saturday, August 11, 2018

How is VT like meditation?

Think I noticed a similarity between vision therapy and meditation.  And the similarity is this: vision therapy teaches you how you're supposed to use your eyes, and meditation teaches you how you're supposed to use your consciousness.

The interesting consequence of this is that once you've properly assimilated the lessons that vision therapy has to offer, you kind of don't need to do it anymore.  You're now doing it all of the time, and it can no longer be considered therapy.  The newer, and better way of using your eyes becomes absorbed in who you are, and you don't have to manually do Brock String, or fixation card exercises.

Same with meditation.  Once you really know what meditation teaches you, you can do it anytime.  You don't have to be sitting on a cushion.  Sometimes I will think to myself 'shit, I didn't meditate today.'.  But then I realize, why can't I just maintain the mindfulness anyway?  When I have that realization, I can have a normal amazing day which normally happens on days that begin with a good meditation session.  You can meditate all of the time.  When you've absorbed the lessons, it becomes a part of who you are.

Sort of reminds me of a story I heard about Arnold Schwarzenegger.  He mentioned in a podcast with Tim Ferriss that he used to do Transcendental Meditation, got a lot out of it, but then stopped.  But the positive effects of having learned it continue to this current day.  TM permanently changed him.  It was like firmware upgrade, which probably has a fair amount to do with how much of a badass he is.

Sunday, April 1, 2018

Not dead. Still here. Still making progress.

Haven't been blogging because I honestly haven't been doing much explicit vision therapy.  But I have been making substantive progress.

I have been trying to do virtual reality somewhat regularly, which I do believe helps.  But the main reason I think that my vision is still improving is from all of those months of learning and experimenting with the fixation cards execises, playing with the eyes, and pressing down on the binocular button as much as consciously possible.

Those exercises have provided me with the feedback I needed, teaching me, even though I could never fuse, which direction to go in.  Once I learned that, I was able to use that information. So even though I'm not doing actual vision therapy exercises, I am moving myself in the correct direction, and therefore, I'm still making progress.

When am I going to get it?  I don't know.  Maybe I won't.  But I'm going to keep marching in the direction that I'm going in, because why not?  There's nothing to lose.  I'm not spending any time doing vision therapy.  I'm coasting.

Maybe it was unrealistic to expect changes so fast. 

Friday, December 29, 2017

Still making progress

I've taken about two weeks off from vision therapy.  I've still been doing quite a bit of virtual reality stuff, however.  Man, I'm seeing quite a bit of progress through that time.  It's weird how I notice such improvement even when I'm not doing vision therapy.  

Couple things I've noticed as of late.  

One is that it's becoming quite a bit easier to use and pay attention through both eyes.  Still no full control, but my control is getting quite good.  The tracking and coordination is getting quite good.  

The other is that I'm able to read all day if I want, and my eyes don't get into this sticky mode where they want to stay converged (reading books requires quite a bit of convergence).  There is a little stickiness, but it goes away pretty quickly.  

I am finally noticing longlasting changes to my eyes.  

I still don't when my goals will be achieved, but I don't care.  Taking it one week, one month, one year at a time.  It's not taking up that much time with my current regimen.  I'll get it soon, or not.  I'm good either way. 

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

A fun ride

Last couple of weeks have been pretty fun, I have to admit.  Watching the vision progress lot, regress a little on tired days, and then progress a ton more.  Last couple of times I played Vivid Vision, I've noticed quite a bit more depth each time.

I'm excited to see what vision is like tomorrow (tomorrow is a VT day).  I am currently doing vision therapy (about 45 minute sessions) three days a week.  Saturday, Sunday, and Wednesday.  Weekends tend to be good days because I'm more rested on those days.  Wednesday is good because it's smack in the middle of the week. 

It's fun, because it feels like I finally figured out what's works and the progress is undeniable.  It's a matter of staying on course and staying focused.

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Pretty excited again

I'm seeing real progress.   It just keeps coming, and it's coming very quickly.  Yesterday while playing Vivid Vision, things were pretty intense.  My eyes seem to be aligning, I'm noticing less cyclo deviation, and I'm noticing less difference between the two eyes.  It's pretty freaking exciting to think that this project that I've been working on for the past seven years may finally come to a glorious end.  Oh well. 

Sunday, November 5, 2017

Here we go again

Seems like things are going quite well, and that I may be on the right track.  Today I did part of the fixation exercise without any prism.  It was near the end of the 20 minutes.  This may be the final leg.  Let us pray.

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Still making progress

Same old pattern.  Find a method that allows me to make progress, make progress, flatten out, search for new exercise that allows me to make progress, make progress, flatten out, search for new exercise that allows me to make progress, lather, rinse, repeat.

Well, I'm currently making progress--been doing the same thing for about a month or two, and have been making great progress.  I suspect that this may be the final hump, which has me very excited.  It has me excited because I suspect it's something I should have been doing all along, but was afraid that it was something that I would have to do because I didn't think I could do it. 

It turns out to not be so bad.  It appears my eyes are straightening out.  I believe I'm closer than I was was before.  Not sure how much time I have left to go. 

One weird thing I've been thinking about is how strange this journey has been.  I get the sense that there's no way that a vision therapist could have guided me to where I am, and that getting here actually requires a ton of persistence, stumbling, experimentation, locking in gains, and slowly ratcheting on up.  The techniques I've developed are too meta and probably too nuanced to explain.  One has to become intimate with one's own visual system, and figure out how it works in a way that makes sense to one's self.