Friday, December 29, 2017

Still making progress

I've taken about two weeks off from vision therapy.  I've still been doing quite a bit of virtual reality stuff, however.  Man, I'm seeing quite a bit of progress through that time.  It's weird how I notice such improvement even when I'm not doing vision therapy.  

Couple things I've noticed as of late.  

One is that it's becoming quite a bit easier to use and pay attention through both eyes.  Still no full control, but my control is getting quite good.  The tracking and coordination is getting quite good.  

The other is that I'm able to read all day if I want, and my eyes don't get into this sticky mode where they want to stay converged (reading books requires quite a bit of convergence).  There is a little stickiness, but it goes away pretty quickly.  

I am finally noticing longlasting changes to my eyes.  

I still don't when my goals will be achieved, but I don't care.  Taking it one week, one month, one year at a time.  It's not taking up that much time with my current regimen.  I'll get it soon, or not.  I'm good either way. 

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

A fun ride

Last couple of weeks have been pretty fun, I have to admit.  Watching the vision progress lot, regress a little on tired days, and then progress a ton more.  Last couple of times I played Vivid Vision, I've noticed quite a bit more depth each time.

I'm excited to see what vision is like tomorrow (tomorrow is a VT day).  I am currently doing vision therapy (about 45 minute sessions) three days a week.  Saturday, Sunday, and Wednesday.  Weekends tend to be good days because I'm more rested on those days.  Wednesday is good because it's smack in the middle of the week. 

It's fun, because it feels like I finally figured out what's works and the progress is undeniable.  It's a matter of staying on course and staying focused.

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Pretty excited again

I'm seeing real progress.   It just keeps coming, and it's coming very quickly.  Yesterday while playing Vivid Vision, things were pretty intense.  My eyes seem to be aligning, I'm noticing less cyclo deviation, and I'm noticing less difference between the two eyes.  It's pretty freaking exciting to think that this project that I've been working on for the past seven years may finally come to a glorious end.  Oh well. 

Sunday, November 5, 2017

Here we go again

Seems like things are going quite well, and that I may be on the right track.  Today I did part of the fixation exercise without any prism.  It was near the end of the 20 minutes.  This may be the final leg.  Let us pray.

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Still making progress

Same old pattern.  Find a method that allows me to make progress, make progress, flatten out, search for new exercise that allows me to make progress, make progress, flatten out, search for new exercise that allows me to make progress, lather, rinse, repeat.

Well, I'm currently making progress--been doing the same thing for about a month or two, and have been making great progress.  I suspect that this may be the final hump, which has me very excited.  It has me excited because I suspect it's something I should have been doing all along, but was afraid that it was something that I would have to do because I didn't think I could do it. 

It turns out to not be so bad.  It appears my eyes are straightening out.  I believe I'm closer than I was was before.  Not sure how much time I have left to go. 

One weird thing I've been thinking about is how strange this journey has been.  I get the sense that there's no way that a vision therapist could have guided me to where I am, and that getting here actually requires a ton of persistence, stumbling, experimentation, locking in gains, and slowly ratcheting on up.  The techniques I've developed are too meta and probably too nuanced to explain.  One has to become intimate with one's own visual system, and figure out how it works in a way that makes sense to one's self. 

Thursday, September 21, 2017

Making quite a lot of progress.... found a vein.

I might have found the fast leg of the journey.  But who knows. It was a leg that I had hoped in the back of my mind that I wouldn't have to take, because it's apparently tedious.

It's stretching open the portal, as mentioned in the previous entries.  I have noticed a lot of progress in the past few weeks by implementing this technique.  Really hammering on the fixation cards exercise, and then casually doing Brock String (mainly for gauging progress),  and then doing Vivid Vision.  That's my approach at 80/20 (giving primary focus on things which give the best results).

Shit, I have learned so much.  Right now what's on my mind is the pliability of the mind.  And the idea that there are little things--little elements in the mind, which you can reach out, and sort of touch.  And if you give those elements enough focus, they can grow, and you can begin to do interesting things with them.  If you're Wim Hof, that means that you can consciously control your immune system.  If you're me, it means you can be significantly more thoughtful and effective about your approach toward vision therapy.   The mind is powerful.  We're beginning to understand how powerful it is and the weird things that can be achieved via focus.  I'm really beginning to believe that normal people can do amazing things with the right training and meditative practice.

Yeah... yesterday I saw the smallest distance ever between the double beads.  Pretty excited.  As the beads get closer, I'm going to have to train more and increase my sensitivity to the decreasing change between the feeling of switching from each eye.  I will commensurately build on that sensitivity until the switching is entirely squashed and both eyes are fully on all the time.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Stretching open the portal is working

For now.  For now, stretching open the port is working.

By that, I'm talking about the fixation cards exercise wherein I slowly and deliberately try to stretch fixation across both eyes.  Inevitably when I stretch over to the other side, while slowly moving the card closer and farther away, I will switch fixation to the other eye.  However, I pay very close to the feeling of the stretching, and I don't sweat it when I switch over.  Not switching eyes isn't my goal at the moment.  Stretching my fixation ability across both eyes simultaneously is.

It's a hard, tricky, and subtle technique, and one that I'm convinced I never would have discovered had I not learned how to slow down, relax, and hyperfocus my mind via meditation.  Your brain and mind are doing a lot of things that you'll never get to see and appreciate without the crazy levels of focus and introspection you can attain with a rigorous meditation practice.

Stretching open the portal appears to be the exercise that is doing the most lifting at the moment.  I actually don't think it's Vivid Vision.  I think in my case with vision therapy--the process requires raw, deliberate, conscious effort, and there's no way of getting around that.  I don't think a guy like me will ever break the lifelong habit of using my eyes incorrectly by playing a game.  That's not knock on Vivid Vision--I think they are amazing, and what they are doing is amazing and admirable--that's just my impression at the moment.

It goes back a little to a previous entry in which I reflect about why I think vision therapy is so much easier for children than for adults.  And my thesis is that vision therapy is easier for children not so much because of their high neuroplasticity as much as it is that they don't have a strong preference for doing anything in any particular way--simply because they lack experience.

Well, I have a ton of experience.  I have a ton of experience in using my eyes incorrectly.  33 years in fact.  And that, I feel, has a lot to do with the apparent requirement for me having to learn how to meditate and devise ways of trenching new neural pathways, manually and consciously trying to convince each neuron in the chain, that yes, this will eventually be worthwhile.