Monday, June 30, 2014

#360 session: pretty good accuracy

It's been another good week.  My progress is continuing.  In particular, I'm noticing that my eyes are pointing where they should be.  I'm seeing more things.  It's enjoyable.  Just keeping on keeping on.

Friday, June 20, 2014

#354 session: glorious left dash

Pretty nice looking dashboard, eh?  I'm noticing it quite a lot more now that the suppression is going way down--especially that little window way forward.  It's taking a little getting used to because I'm not used to seeing so much.  It's like I'm seeing it, but my brain hasn't yet realized that it's in conscious view.  It's hard to explain, but very pleasant.  There's a whole other side!

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

#352 session: good freaking day yesterday

Yesterday was a really good day.  Everything looked really big and bright.  In particular, I'm noticing that my visual field is quite large and I'm now able to see detail that I couldn't before see on the left side.  I don't know what to say other than that.  I'm getting a better and better idea of what it's like to have full vision.

Saturday, June 14, 2014

#349: session: pay dirt

I'm still doing the two days on, one day off (the one day comprised of five minutes of Finger Monster).  I recently got a wobble cushion for loading the exercise.  It works surprisingly well.  I blew it up partially, and got on it.  It's pretty difficult to stay stabilized even with two feet.  I need to use one hand on something nearby in order to keep in place.  We'll see if that increases the rate of progress.  Heh, what a weirdo I must appear to an outsider--standing on a wobble cushion in my closet with electrodes strapped to my head, while tracking a red finger monster around from one side to another.

That said, vision is definitely improving.  I am seeing more.  It's the subjective cues that are improving--not so much the objective.  What I'm noticing is greater presence.  Objects and cars especially seem bolder and more there--as if there's this underlying reality that I was missing before, and still am missing.  It's just underneath a layer whose presence I'm becoming more aware of with every passing day.  I just have to strip off the layer and then I will see a truer and better representation of reality.  That's a pretty good explanation of what is actually going on.  The layer to be stripped off would be the suppression.

It's nice and rewarding.  I have calmed down quite a lot in the past year regarding vision therapy progress.  I was just so gung-ho and obsessive about getting it done.  Now I'm doing quite a bit less vision therapy--although I'm still very consistent.  I'm only doing about 25 minute sessions four times a week.  Before I was doing more than an hour every day.  I was waaayyyyy overdoing it.  That, combined with the fact that my exercises weren't very effective or targeted resulted in anxiety and lots of self-loathing.  Now I'm much calmer, and I have an attitude that 'it's going to happen when it happens', just focus on progress and honing and improving my regimen.  I'm not worried about when I recover stereopsis, because it's not taking up an inordinate amount of time.  I can still go about my normal activities.  Plus, I am experiencing the benefits of vision therapy as I do it.  The veil is coming off, bit by bit.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

#342 session: sweet spot

I've been experimenting with different amounts of stimulation.  I think I may have hit a good amount of exercise.  It's definitely possible to get too much.

It works out to a two day on, one day off schedule.  The days in which I do VT, I will spend 11 minutes in the closet doing Finger Monster exercises, about three minutes with Clown Saccades, and then another 11 minutes doing antisuppression solitaire.  I do that two days in a row.  On my day off, I do five minutes of Finger Monster.

This seems to be the sweet spot.  Man, antisuppression solitaire was looking good yesterday.  It's a great feedback exercise since it lets me very clearly see the suppression (manifested as black).

Today is a pretty good eye day.  The last few days have been, actually, particularly when I get home in the evening, walking to and from my house, looking at the cars in the driveway, and feeling their presence, proximity, and realness.

I've been getting some irritation lately from the contacts.  I get some major red eye, particularly on the astigmatism left eye.  I've been only using a contact lens on the right eye as a result.  That seems to make the biggest difference, since that eye is myopic.  There are no issues for objects near me, but things don't seem to get sharp as they should for objects far away.  So I keep it in.  Plus, I want to keep my refraction relatively constant while I do vision therapy.  We know that refraction can screw up alignment via the accommodation reflex.

This is something I actually heard that LASIK can do--cause strabismus by altering the refraction of the eye.  All of the systems are tied together.  So I'll try to keep my contacts in, keep the refraction constant, until I achieve my goals.  I'll probably always use at least the negative lens on my myopic eye unless I get LASIK.  If LASIK gives me strabismus again, at least I'll know how to fix it.