Saturday, June 14, 2014

#349: session: pay dirt

I'm still doing the two days on, one day off (the one day comprised of five minutes of Finger Monster).  I recently got a wobble cushion for loading the exercise.  It works surprisingly well.  I blew it up partially, and got on it.  It's pretty difficult to stay stabilized even with two feet.  I need to use one hand on something nearby in order to keep in place.  We'll see if that increases the rate of progress.  Heh, what a weirdo I must appear to an outsider--standing on a wobble cushion in my closet with electrodes strapped to my head, while tracking a red finger monster around from one side to another.

That said, vision is definitely improving.  I am seeing more.  It's the subjective cues that are improving--not so much the objective.  What I'm noticing is greater presence.  Objects and cars especially seem bolder and more there--as if there's this underlying reality that I was missing before, and still am missing.  It's just underneath a layer whose presence I'm becoming more aware of with every passing day.  I just have to strip off the layer and then I will see a truer and better representation of reality.  That's a pretty good explanation of what is actually going on.  The layer to be stripped off would be the suppression.

It's nice and rewarding.  I have calmed down quite a lot in the past year regarding vision therapy progress.  I was just so gung-ho and obsessive about getting it done.  Now I'm doing quite a bit less vision therapy--although I'm still very consistent.  I'm only doing about 25 minute sessions four times a week.  Before I was doing more than an hour every day.  I was waaayyyyy overdoing it.  That, combined with the fact that my exercises weren't very effective or targeted resulted in anxiety and lots of self-loathing.  Now I'm much calmer, and I have an attitude that 'it's going to happen when it happens', just focus on progress and honing and improving my regimen.  I'm not worried about when I recover stereopsis, because it's not taking up an inordinate amount of time.  I can still go about my normal activities.  Plus, I am experiencing the benefits of vision therapy as I do it.  The veil is coming off, bit by bit.

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