Holy shit, things are happening fast. I want to document this because I don't want to forget this moment.
I said I might have it in a few months, but things are now changing so fast. I
feel like I understand my visual system so much better now. I am constantly consciously adjusting, but it's taking less and less of a mental toll in order to do so.
These adjustments I'm making to my visual system--it feels good. It feels like kind of tucking in your shirt. But I'm doing it with my eyes. And it's hard to say exactly what it is I'm doing when I do it. But it feels like I have conscious control of 'powering on' my eyes--and there's like this attention... this entity that is somewhere between my eyes and he's sort of moving from one eye to another, like a balance board. And I can kind of use my attention to squash him down right in the flat center of the two eyes. When I do that, it feels awesome, and I know that this action is wearing in a groove in my circuitry--so that using my eyes in this way becomes habitual, and less demanding of my attention.
I was thinking of an analogy. It's a bit like a spinning coin. When it's about to flatten down, it suddenly becomes violent, loud, and chaotic until it suddenly stops--lying flat. That violent, loud, and chaotic moment is where I currently reside.
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