Yeah, I'm getting excited again. I was hoping November would be the month, but now that it's almost over, it seems unlikely. That said, I have made massive progress, and have seen massive improvement this month. I'm talking about both objective markers (double images coming together, looking at things), as well as subjective markers (perceived depth and bigness, as well as changes when I play games in VR. At the moment, I see no reason to make changes to my routine.
Keep going.
Damn. I haven't fused yet, but wow. I am making a lot of progress on the amblyopia. I was not expecting this, but it appears my reading speed has increased quite a lot. I guess it's because I'm now using both eyes when I read, and when I switch from one eye to another, there's a lot less switching. I am switching, but it's much more subtle. I don't know if it's doubled or tripled, but it's made my reading both much faster and more enjoyable. I know Susan Barry has mentioned that when she gained stereopsis there were other changes to her cognition--as though the inter-hemispherical communication improved, and her brain began working in a more integrated way than before. That may be part of what is going on for me as well.
It just sucks. It makes me wonder how many more books I would have read if I had binocular vision at an earlier age.
Binocular vision is a big deal.
And for reasons that aren't readily apparent. I was right to put so much energy and work into this. My instincts were correct all along.
I think this might be the month. This software is working super well. I had sooo much suppression and amblyopia, and my current regimen is cutting right through it. I have been having noticing how my vision has changed while going about my day doing normal things. Every so often, I'll see both images almost fused. It's very exciting. I'm getting the impression that stereo is indeed a very different way of seeing--and far superior. And the way it feels is amazing.
I do get the feeling I'm close. When playing Ice Breaker, for instance in MFBF mode, it's like.. I can see the improvement starkly. I don't think I have much more to go. November may be the month. Let's see.
Yeah... I wish I had been doing Optics Trainer way earlier. I am seeing real lasting change on a daily basis now. I've been doing Ice Breaker for 30 minutes every day, sometimes more. I noticed the way I'm playing the game has changed mode. I'm now more focused on looking at things correctly as a whole system than hitting the blocks--although I'm getting better at that because I do not look at the blocked I'm hitting when I hit them. I use my periphery. Works good. Change is occurring quickly.
I gotta say I'm excited. This stuff works well, and I'm noticing the effects when I go about my day. My regimen hasn't changed since the last entry. It's 30 minutes of Ice Pick in MFBF (monocular fixations in binocular fields) mode, a round of Bomb Boxing, and then the normal Daily Workout. Altogether it's about an hour per day. I've also taken out the of Brock String and have been doing a bit of that--not so much as a workout (I think Optics Trainer is way more effective than Brock String--at least for me), but as a way of gauging progress. I am basically getting the 'X' in Brock String, but I do notice the bead is bigger and stronger on the left side (strong eye). I think that's what's preventing fusion. It appears I still have a bit of amblyopia remaining. Fortunately Pick Axe game in MFBF mode is super effective for that. I am taking it one day at a time. But I think all my other problems are pretty much gone (mobility, for instance). We'll see where this takes me. Hopes are high.
I think this may be happening soon. I still have a lot that needs to be resolved, but this regimen (Ice Breaker game in MFBF (monocular fixations in binocular fields) mode for 30 minutes, a round of Bomb Boxing, and then Daily Workout is working extremely well, and way better than anything else I've come to. My vision is really changing in a noticeable way. Has a way greater positive impact on my amblyopia than anything I've done in the past.
Josh recently asked me how often I do this Ice Breaker game in MFBF mode, because apparently some of his associated doctors have clients who 'overuse' this MFBF mode at home and have developed 'permanent double vision'. I'm not really that worried about it. I only do 30 minutes, and I already have permanent double vision. All I need to do is continue to pound away, and get the right eye stronger and on par with the left eye. I do think it will result in fusion.
What's kind of bananas is that it seems to be working on the hyperopia on the right eye as well as the amblyopia. That's kind of surprising.
I do think it's kind of a result of combination of everything I've learned over the years, particularly the brain-pliability techniques.
Damn. Optics Trainer seems to work... like really well, especially for my amblyopia.
So yeah, I've been doing around 20 minutes of vision therapy per day, and sometimes a few times a day. I've been doing a few antisupression games like Bomb Boxing (in standing position punching bombs with different hands depending on their color (left for blue, red for right, and you avoid black bombs)), and this Ice Breaker game where you have a few pick-axes and you break green chunks of ice as they rise up in a vat of water. I play these games in MFBF mode (I forget what those letters stand for). But it's antisuppression mode, which means that some objects are visible only to one eye while other objects are visible to only the other eye. It forces the eyes to work as a system.
This particular setup seems to work ultra well, I suspect, because the objects are so close to you, and thus, the exercises have a large imprint on the retinas, and thus, it works on the periphery quite powerfully. I told this to Josh, and basically told him that this software is far more powerful than anything else I've done, or have tried.
As far as I know, Optics Trainer isn't implementing any new exotic vision therapy techniques. It's the same old stuff, just very well implemented. I've seen the power and potential of VR for vision training from the beginning. The platform just gives developers so much control over the way photons land on the retinas. Therein lies the power. I have done Vivid Vision over ten years ago after I learned about James's story (he fixed his own vision, and gained stereo function with a combination of the Oculus Rift DK1 (first developer kit) and software he developed for it. Amazing story. Amazing man, that James. As such, I got to know the guys a bit (we started chatting originally on Reddit), as well as some of the other guys on the team. I even funded their Kickstarter so I could gain early access to the software. And I did use it. I'm sure it's in the blog somewhere. This blog goes back a long ways.
However, it didn't fix my vision. I think I now understand why. There was stuff that I had to figure out about my brain, and I basically figured out non-VT techniques to put my brain in a more pliable state. I've outlined those things exhaustively in this blog, so I won't get into them now. But what I'm getting at here is that my brain is now ready, and Optics Trainer works like none other. Now, is it necessary for me to do all of those things now? I'm not sure. But I'm going to keep doing them. My amblyopia has gone way down since I've been using Optics Trainer for the past few weeks. I'm excited. It works. Let's see.
You know... I always have my eyes open to things that could potentially get me closer to my goals faster. As such, one day I did a search for 'VR vision therapy' and hit upon Optics Trainer. I emailed the contact, and got a prompt response from the owner (and only employee) Josh, asking him about product availability. It just struck me as obvious that VR has huge potential for vision training, and here I am with a fancy VR headset and no VR vision training software. Time to get some. I tried my hand at Vivid Vision (the pioneers of VR-based vision training), but that kind of fell through.
So, I got to talking with Josh (based in San Diego), and he struck me as a super-legit guy--with a background in gaming design, and a desire to help people. Turns out game design experience is a very valuable and applicable skillset.
Anyway, we got talking, and I dug where he was coming from, his obvious intelligence, and interest in having a positive impact on people's vision. I was really messaging him because I wanted access to his software--and was willing to pay a lot for it. There are a few versions. One is for doctors to use with their clients, and one is for the clients themselves to use with their own HMDs. The client version isn't yet publicly available, but he did tell me the price range he was planning for, and was shocked as its low price.
Regardless, he agreed to give me a free beta version (I don't mind being a guinea pig). I would benefit from the therapeutic uses of the software, and I would provide him with feedback. From what I've seen so far, the software is more sophisticated than any other vision training software I've seen. The games look better, they're more fun, and some of them are auto-adjusting, meaning they gauge your abilities dynamically and won't push you past your limits. And Josh has access to all the knobs. I asked him 'got any antisuppression games'? Then he was like... 'give me a sec.' Then BAM. Just like that, most of the games are now anti-suppression (Some elements of the game are accessible to one eye; others are accessible to the other eye--and it's randomized--a neat trick he programmed himself. Like I said, smart dude.).
Then the gears started turning. What would be real nice is a community centered around vision therapy--kind of like what I had around ten years ago on Facebook. So Josh quickly spun up a Discord server. We're the only guys in it now. If you're:
The new Columns technique I'm using (Chunking) seems to have made a big difference. In a small amount of time my peripheral vision improved and it feels like it's got me a lot closer to fusion. It appears developing strong peripheral vision is an important part of fusion and stereopsis. I may try and combine Chunking with Rolling next. I'm so close. Grr...
I think this new regimen might get me to the finish line. In this moment, I have renewed belief that I'm going to succeed. I was just playing Pavlov VR and was getting new moments of depth--noticing new vividness--noticing how much extra information was coming in. It's like it's enveloping me. Let's see what this is in two weeks. Keep going.
Might have figured out something valuable. It's a new way of doing Columns. Just did about 30 minutes. Instead of doing Rolling, which is something I've been doing lately, I've been doing 'Chunking'. So when I look at the columns when doing Columns (there are four columns of numbers and letters on each side--left and right) I will look at all of the columns once--kinda like diffused attention across all of them really exercising the periphery. Then I'd slide over to the other side and do the same with the other set of columns on the right side. Then, I'll zoom out and try to notice both chunks of columns (left and right) and try to read all the symbols as a sort of 'Super Chunk'--again, attention is diffused.
This is very difficult to do, kind of fun, and it seems to have made a huge difference.
Really, here's how I came across this technique. I was thinking backwards about what the sheet will look like when I'm finally done. What does it look like? Then imagined myself as there, and then imagined how do I get from where I was to this new place, and then work backwards. I've heard a lot of people talk about using this as a way to achieve goals as quickly and effectively as possible. It's interesting, I think I'm going to do more of this.
But yeah, I played Pavlov VR for a few hours last night. It was insane. I'm definitely in a new place. Keep going. I am making forward progress. Keep going.
I don't know what to say. I want this to be done. But man I noticed huge improvement yesterday as well as today. It's super annoying and irritating. Zeno's Paradox on steroids. I've said it before, but fuck Zeno. Well, actually I never said that until now, and I do not recant. It's the feeling. I can't describe it, but I suspect binocular vision feels great, and what I've had all my life sucks by comparison. Cause new feeling is great, and it's only getting bigger and greater.
It's the sliding. I'm sure it has to do with the way that I'm doing Columns. So I think I basically have the refraction and lenses necessary to eventually fuse. What I'm doing is not ideal (using cheap reading glass lenses I bought on Amazon), but I think it's sufficient, and I think I'm going to fuse. What would be ideal is if I had a competent vision doctor prescribe me with contact lenses to allow me to get refraction as equal across the eyes as possible. That is not the current situation I'm in. I think the refraction is sufficiently similar across the eyes in order for my current regimen to ultimately allow me to fuse and enjoy binocular vision. After all, my posture is overall quite good, these days I'd say. If I use good posture generally and pair that with high dose vision therapy combined with all the other stuff I do for neuroplasticity, I should cross the line not too long from now. I'm so goddamn close.
I think it's the sliding in combination with anti-suppression, in combination with the right lenses.
I'm getting antsy again--it's now July. I wanted to be done with this. But I am making progress.
The way I'm doing Columns now is that I slowly shift from one eye to another. There is always a moment of 'switching' from one eye to another, but it's becoming less and less. And I just pay closer and closer attention to the moment of 'switching' and hopefully squash it down so that there is no switching. Both channels are just on. And I'm also kind of focused on noticing the whole sheet across both eyes--you know, using them as a whole. I mean, yeah. That has to be the way forward. Keep going.
Oh yeah, Optics Trainer VR is delayed due to needing more time for testing with their clients. Well, it's cool to know that it's a legitimate business, and it seems likely that real engineering went into the product.
I'm so close I can taste it. But I still have at least a few more weeks to go.
Lately, I've changed the way I do Columns a bit. It's something I've done a lot in the past, but it seems more relevant to me now. It's what I call 'rolling', where I look at one symbol (it's either a number or letter) on the left eye, and I slowly roll over to the corresponding signal on the right side. I do it slowly, so that I can spread myself across the eyes. I've seen huge improvement in this domain, because I can now seamlessly switch between eyes, so I can sort of pseudocontrol both eyes simultaneously. This is, after all, what I'm going for. I think it may be bearing fruit. I just got done with today's session.
Also, I recently bought +.75 Diopter reading glasses and then popped out the left-side lens. So I've been using that instead of +1 Diopter, because I want the sides to be as even in size as possible.
Progress is simultaneously slow and fast. It definitely feels like I've got a lot of locked in gains over the weeks. Double vision is almost entirely gone, with the exception of a few key areas (like my feet). So I still have a bit more work to go, but the progress has been undeniable, especially when looking at my eyes in the mirror. They're almost straight. I'm so close. I think I just have to keep doing what I'm doing, keep the pedal on the metal, check in every few weeks.
Also, I put myself on an email list for Optics Trainer VR Home. I assume it's like Vivid Vision, but they say the software will be released this month. So I'm excited to try it out.
Quite a bit of progress over the previous week. It's hard to explain, but I feel like progress is very real now. Pedal to the metal.
I think what's doing most of the work is the anti-suppression exercises I'm doing. I've mentioned it in other entries, but briefly, it's Game-Blyopia, which uses red/green filter glasses. Under them, I have +1 diopter reading glasses with the lens popped out on the left side. For maybe 2-3 weeks I used +1.5, and I think that was a mistake. The difference in the size of the image on each side was too different. When I switched to +1.0, I noticed the difference.
And it is making a huge difference. It feels like it's all coming together. So, my theory is that I had very strong suppression, because for most of my life I never had double vision. My brain adapted exceedingly well to strabismus. That made life easier for then. But it also means that I have an especially large amount of work to do now. Fortunately, I think I have all the pieces in place, and I just have to keep my pedal on the metal and undo the suppression with my anti-suppression exercises.
I've been toying with the idea of doing more Brock String to work on mobility, but I kinda already do it by doing neighborhood walks and cruising around on my OneWheel. Can't hurt. I have the string already, may need to create another acrylic concentric ring-type deal.
It is a slow. But I'm making gradual progress. I don't think I have to make any changes to the regimen.
So I did make one change, which is when I do Game-Blyopia, I switched from 1.5 diopter glass to 1.0 diopter reading glass (I poked the lens out of the right eye). Change is indeed coming. I'm taking it one week at a time.
Everything else is pretty similar. I do notice the double images are coming together when I look at perspective lines (like tile grout and road markings). Objective markers are indeed coming together. It's retarded how long I've kept at this. At the moment, there's really nothing to do, but keep doing what I'm doing and keep making check-ins periodically.
I am dying here. When is this going to be over? I'm sooo close. I'm still making fast progress, but WHEN IS THIS GOING TO BE OVER? I'm so close I can taste it. It's killing me. It's like... how much more can I progress until I'm finally over? It's like... Zeno's Paradox from hell. Grrr...
I've made some recent adjustments to my routine. I am not prepared to talk publicly about everything I'm doing. But here are the other things I've been doing.
I'd been doing a lot of stuff with focusing on the brain, and strengthening the weak right eye. I made good progress for a long while, but then it kind of stalled. I realized then that I had to tend to the farsightedness on the right eye. I have a bunch of 1x magnification reading glasses. I popped the lens out of the left side, so the right eye would have bigger input for the Columns exercise. That made a big difference.
Then when I was done doing Columns, I would put on my red/green filter glasses and play 2048 and Snake games on Game-Blyopia. I noticed a big improvement on the results.
One thing that's really weird is that it feels like using the magnification on the right eye seems to have made the right eye stronger very quickly--like--its ability to focus on close-up objects.
However, now because of the +1 lens on the right eye, the size of close-up objects isn't quite the same, so I bought some +.5 reading glasses. Then I popped out the lens on the left side, and now the close-up objects are about the same size.
So... now I've been using this kit, and wow, I think the brain likes it. It feels like I'm damn close--like I may be days away from fusion. The question is this: do I use +.5 magnification or +1 magnification? I think +.5 may be the way to go, but the +1 may have increased the strength of the eye quicker because it resulted in a bigger impression on the retina. But I think equivalency between the size of the images is what the brain really wants to see, so I'm going to stick with that for a while.
I've been playing Snake a lot lately. The cyan/green food... I've been focusing on it, really softening the gaze. It feels like I'm on the right track. I'm pretty damn excited.
