Summary of this week

Progress is accelerating, and I think it will continue to accelerate until I'm done.  

There was a day during the middle of the week when I had a sudden realization of how much my vision has improved.  I notice it generally when looking around, and with increased brightness, and field of vision.  But now that I think of it, it's also the stuff that I'm not really looking at as well.  When I notice my peripheral vision.  I can see my arms and the double images of them are coming together.  

And then, most of all, it's my feet.  The discrepancy of the distance of the double images varies depending on where I'm looking.  My feet, in particular, have always worried me, because the distance of the double images of my feet were always so far apart.  I think it was yesterday that I looked down at my feet and the double images have come together so much.  It is shocking how much improvement I've seen here.  This is an objective marker of improvement.  And bear in mind, I haven't been doing vision therapy.  This progress is a result of me figuring out how to practice proper binocular posture, knowing when I'm pressing down on the muscle, and when I'm not, and then making a conscious decision to do it when I have the available mental bandwidth. 

So that's how I do 'vision therapy'.  And increasingly I'm able to do it for longer and longer periods of the day.  When playing VR games, or watching TV, or going out for walks.  And holy crap, is my vision improving as a result.

And what's crazy is how fast this progress has occurred.  It really feels like it has happened suddenly--like--as in the past four weeks or so.  Really seems to coincide with the improved grasp on my vision which I seem to have only very recently developed.  Very excited to see what improvement happens in the coming weeks.  The eyes really are really a freaking amazing organ/organ system--how tied in they are with the brain, and with thinking, and how malleable it all is, and what is possible with training.  It truly is bananas.

Had another massive quantum leap today. Things are getting real now.

 This train ain't stopping.  

Today has probably been the biggest leap in vision quality I've seen, ever--especially if you're talking about changes seen/noticed within a single day.  Truly massive.  

It's hard to describe.  It's just better.  Noticing more and more, larger field of vision, the feeling of using and directing both eyes.  Things are brighter.  It's also the way it feels now--using both eyes.  It's a combination of all of these things. 

Could possibly coincide with a few changes I've made. I've gotten stricter with my ketogenic diet.  Basically, I have one carb-laden meal a week in order to avoid keto toxicity.  Also, I do about 60 miles of cycling over the weekend--30 miles each day.  That is a way of depleting glycogen, and getting the body ready to burn fat.  I've talked in previous entries about how keto helps with vision therapy.  Basically, keto is great for brain performance.  Vision is all about the brain.  I've found keto helps vision, as well as mental activities, as well as mood.  

Another big change in lifestyle--and this may be huge--I'm now getting up and going to sleep at the same time every day, regardless of whether it's the weekend.  I've realized, and it's hard to deny it now, that sleep is extremely important, and that I've been fucking myself over whenever I sleep in on the weekends.  It basically screws up my sleeping for the entire week.  So if I want to stay up late, fine, but I still get up early.  I just sleep less.  Doing this has made a massive difference.  So far, so good.  It's already made a massive improvement in the quality of life. 

It seems I'm now noticing weekly qualitative improvements in vision

 Still no idea of when it's coming, but it does seem like things are accelerating.  I am noticing more stereo in VR.  I am also noticing quite a bit of improvement and, indeed, some stereo cues in real life.  These changes seem to be happening on a weekly basis now.  I know what I'm doing now, and this, no doubt, seems to have accelerated progress a lot.   The keto diet thing too... on days when I'm in strong ketosis, yeah.  Things really pop out--not as in stereo yet--but as in things are bigger, brighter, and clearer.  There are times when things get so bright that it's overwhelming.  It almost feels as though someone is turning up the power on the dimmer in the room. 

My grasp on my vision is growing

 My grasp on my vision is something I've been talking about a lot lately.  But my grasp on my vision  continues to improve.  

It seems there are two aspects to my vision quality now.  There's the quality of the state my eyes are in when I am not applying effort or attention.  Then there's the quality of the state my eyes are in when I am  applying effort or attention.

One of the ways I know that my vision is continually improving is what my eyes do when I am not applying effort or attention to my visual system.  That is, after all, what this is all about: training my visual system to the point where proper binocular vision occurs automatically and without effort.  

So two things are happening, which occur as my mental representations of my visual system get stronger.  One is that binocular posture requires less and less effort to maintain.  The other is that my default (no effort) produces much better vision and less visual conflict.

Indeed, I am noticing this because maintaining binocular posture is becoming so easy for me that I'm almost able to do it while I'm doing other things, like walking around, doing work, and playing video games, or watching TV.

And this is coinciding with improvement in vision as I play games in VR (stereo cues are very strong in VR--moreso than in real life).  I am getting more and more glimpses of what stereopsis is going to be like: especially with objects that are close up (such as the iron sights I use in a game I play called Pavlov VR).  The impression that I'm getting is that it will be: a. overwhelming, and b. completely nuts.  I have no idea how people with normal stereo vision are able to go about their lives not thinking to themselves 'HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT'. 

With the mental representations I've dutifully built over time, there is less mental tax on squashing my vision down while I'm doing other things.  So now I can do both, and I'm able to do 'vision therapy' for much larger portions of my day than before.  It's just nuts that even now that I know what I'm doing, it's still requiring as much work as it is.  

 What else... I was also thinking... one of the questions I've had a long time ago is now being answered.  The visual system doesn't 'click-in' with vision therapy--as in, mechanically.  When hearing stories about people fixing their vision, you hear about a moment when 3d suddenly pops in. Basically, what happens is a gestalt shift.  A shift in the perception of the Necker cube.  Their visual input improves to the point where the brain is now able to interpret the input as 3d, instead of as flat pictures.  I think that has no correspondence to an actual sudden mechanical clicking in.  I think what's going to happen is that my visual system will experience a smooth improvement in mechanics for the entire duration of vision therapy.  THEN...at some point where the visual input is at a certain point, there may be a moment when the brain suddenly flips.  And based on my reading of the accounts of others, it may flip back and forth a bit.  Also, even after it's flipped, it will continue to improve.  

So yeah, this is a very exciting time in my life. 

I saw a quantum leap in vision quality over the weeknd

 Pretty substantial changes, particularly on the periphery.  Also, beginning to notice more depth with upclose objects.  The VR experience is getting more intense as well.  VR is becoming great practice, and I really know how to adjust things in realtime.  There is quite a bit work remaining, but I know exactly what I'm doing now, and I feel like the last legs of this journey are going to go very fast.  There are some things that I did over the weekend that I can't talk about yet, but which I may eventually reveal, but which I think may be valuable in stereopsis recovery.  It's an extremely exciting time. I'm getting so close.  I'm surprised to experience so much improvement in vision before actually achieving my goals.  It is a bit frightening to think about how intense my vision may eventually become. 

I really know what I'm doing now.

 I'm not there yet. I said about a month ago that I might have stereopsis in a few weeks.  I was excited. But I kinda knew that it would be more than that.  But man.  I really, really know what I'm doing now.  So much it hurts.  I really know the hell out of what I'm doing--in terms of looking around, and using my eyes properly.  People: it does happen, eventually.  If you stay with it long enough (and your eyes are decent, overall, and you do the right things), you'll eventually understand what it is that you're doing, and it will kind of make sense.

  I was looking at my eyes in the mirror a few minutes ago... so good.  My eyes look so straight, and so ... BIG--well, comparatively.  I remember growing up, one kid, Dan April (Real name.  Fucked up, I know) used to playfully tease me by calling me 'Japan man' due to my squint.  Dude is lucky he said it 30 years ago.  Otherwise that mofo would have been canceled.  My cosmetics... now that I think of it... has changed a lot.  I don't really think about my appearance that much.  But it has.  Nice.

Still improving

It's still improving.  It's even better than it was last week.