I can barely stand this

 I don't know what to say.  I want this to be done.  But man I noticed huge improvement yesterday as well as today.   It's super annoying and irritating.  Zeno's Paradox on steroids.  I've said it before, but fuck Zeno.  Well, actually I never said that until now, and I do not recant.  It's the feeling.  I can't describe it, but I suspect binocular vision feels great, and what I've had all my life sucks by comparison.  Cause new feeling is great, and it's only getting bigger and greater.  

It's the sliding.  I'm sure it has to do with the way that I'm doing Columns.  So I think I basically have the refraction and lenses necessary to eventually fuse.  What I'm doing is not ideal (using cheap reading glass lenses I bought on Amazon), but I think it's sufficient, and I think I'm going to fuse.  What would be ideal is if I had a competent vision doctor prescribe me with contact lenses to allow me to get refraction as equal across the eyes as possible.  That is not the current situation I'm in.  I think the refraction is sufficiently similar across the eyes in order for my current regimen to ultimately allow me to fuse and enjoy binocular vision.  After all, my posture is overall quite good, these days I'd say.  If I use good posture generally and pair that with high dose vision therapy combined with all the other stuff I do for neuroplasticity, I should cross the line not too long from now.  I'm so goddamn close.

I think it's the sliding in combination with anti-suppression, in combination with the right lenses.

Rolling seems to be working

 I'm getting antsy again--it's now July.  I wanted to be done with this.  But I am making progress.  

The way I'm doing Columns now is that I slowly shift from one eye to another.  There is always a moment of 'switching' from one eye to another, but it's becoming less and less.  And I just pay closer and closer attention to the moment of 'switching' and hopefully squash it down so that there is no switching.  Both channels are just on.  And I'm also kind of focused on noticing the whole sheet across both eyes--you know, using them as a whole.  I mean, yeah.  That has to be the way forward.  Keep going.

Oh yeah, Optics Trainer VR is delayed due to needing more time for testing with their clients.  Well, it's cool to know that it's a legitimate business, and it seems likely that real engineering went into the product.

Rolling around and smaller glasses

 I'm so close I can taste it.  But I still have at least a few more weeks to go.  

Lately, I've changed the way I do Columns a bit.  It's something I've done a lot in the past, but it seems more relevant to me now.  It's what I call 'rolling', where I look at one symbol (it's either a number or letter) on the left eye, and I slowly roll over to the corresponding signal on the right side.  I do it slowly, so that I can spread myself across the eyes.  I've seen huge improvement in this domain, because I can now seamlessly switch between eyes, so I can sort of pseudocontrol both eyes simultaneously.  This is, after all, what I'm going for.  I think it may be bearing fruit.  I just got done with today's session.

Also, I recently bought +.75 Diopter reading glasses and then popped out the left-side lens.  So I've been using that instead of +1 Diopter, because I want the sides to be as even in size as possible.  

Progress is simultaneously slow and fast.  It definitely feels like I've got a lot of locked in gains over the weeks.  Double vision is almost entirely gone, with the exception of a few key areas (like my feet).  So I still have a bit more work to go, but the progress has been undeniable, especially when looking at my eyes in the mirror.  They're almost straight.  I'm so close.  I think I just have to keep doing what I'm doing, keep the pedal on the metal, check in every few weeks.  

Also, I put myself on an email list for Optics Trainer VR Home.  I assume it's like Vivid Vision, but they say the software will be released this month.  So I'm excited to try it out.  

Yeah, things are going well right now

 Quite a bit of progress over the previous week.  It's hard to explain, but I feel like progress is very real now.  Pedal to the metal.

What's happening now

I think what's doing most of the work is the anti-suppression exercises I'm doing.  I've mentioned it in other entries, but briefly, it's Game-Blyopia, which uses red/green filter glasses.  Under them, I have +1 diopter reading glasses with the lens popped out on the left side.  For maybe 2-3 weeks I used +1.5, and I think that was a mistake.  The difference in the size of the image on each side was too different.  When I switched to +1.0, I noticed the difference.  

And it is making a huge difference.  It feels like it's all coming together.  So, my theory is that I had very strong suppression, because for most of my life I never had double vision.  My brain adapted exceedingly well to strabismus.  That made life easier for then.  But it also means that I have an especially large amount of work to do now.  Fortunately, I think I have all the pieces in place, and I just have to keep my pedal on the metal and undo the suppression with my anti-suppression exercises.  

I've been toying with the idea of doing more Brock String to work on mobility, but I kinda already do it by doing neighborhood walks and cruising around on my OneWheel.  Can't hurt.  I have the string already, may need to create another acrylic concentric ring-type deal. 

Getting closer.

 It is a slow.  But I'm making gradual progress.  I don't think I have to make any changes to the regimen.   

So I did make one change, which is when I do Game-Blyopia, I switched from 1.5 diopter glass to 1.0 diopter reading glass (I poked the lens out of the right eye).  Change is indeed coming.  I'm taking it one week at a time.

Everything else is pretty similar.  I do notice the double images are coming together when I look at perspective lines (like tile grout and road markings).  Objective markers are indeed coming together.  It's retarded how long I've kept at this.  At the moment, there's really nothing to do, but keep doing what I'm doing and keep making check-ins periodically.

It's hard to imagine I have much more to go

 I am dying here.  When is this going to be over?  I'm sooo close.  I'm still making fast progress, but WHEN IS THIS GOING TO BE OVER?  I'm so close I can taste it.  It's killing me.  It's like... how much more can I progress until I'm finally over?  It's like... Zeno's Paradox from hell.  Grrr...