What vision therapy has taught me (pt 3)

 Wow, I had an incredible day.  I was walking back to my car from yoga and realized I had hit a turning point.  I am very close.  Did something happen?  Yes it did.  

I hit upon an extremely positive life change, and it seemed to have had a massively positive impact on both my vision, as well as overall quality of life.  Basically, it was a dietary change.  

I've always experimented with diet, as well as with lifestyle in general.  Well, this change seems to be huge.  I seem to have struck gold.  Basically, I have the normal breakfast I'd been having for a long time (four-egg omelette with a lot of butter and cheese--strict ketogenic).  Then I drink green tea throughout the day.  I'll go as long as I can without eating (usually until 4pm), and then I'll eat a giant spinach salad with a small amount of Balsamic dressing, broccoli, cherry tomatoes, and then I douse it with probably around 600 Calories of extra virgin olive oil, and then cut up some pre-cooked chicken I had made in bulk with my sous vide immersion cooker.  

I've talked about the beneficial impact of ketogenic diets on vision quality in previous entries.   So what's changed?  I've been keto for a long time now.  What's different?  

I think there are a few things.  One is that I'd never done this combo before--and I think I now have my macros that are more inline with keto (high, high fat--and moderate protein).  The other thing is that I've eliminated a lot of bullshit from my diet.  I kind of suspect that it's this more than anything.  This is functionally an elimination diet that I didn't really intend to do.  So... now all I'm eating is eggs, butter, cheese... and then spinach, chicken, broccoli, cherry tomatoes, and a ton of extra-virgin olive oil. 

I kind of suspect that most people have some degree of allergy to the foods their eating, and that the cumulative effects of these allergies has a level of degrading effect on people that they're not even aware of.  The only way you can find out is through elimination.  

So I think that's what I accidentally did.  It's not just that the food I'm eating is super nutritious (it is--eggs, spinach, chicken, olive oil, broccoli)--it's a lot of other bullshit that I removed--which I'd argue may have been the major source of improvement.  

And what are the impacts?  One is I've noticed that the vision has improved markedly.  Walking around, looking at things, it really feels like I'm on the last leg of the journey--like... there's still work to do, but I have so much mental energy now, I have the energy to steer my vision.  The diplopia is really minimal now.  I think this diet is going to really accelerate things and take me to the end of the road.   I'm extremely excited.  

And it also seems to have given me a ton more mental energy for my job.  Heh, I recently had a 20-hour long shift.  It's not normal for my job to work that many hours, but in this case it was an emergency.  I started at 8am on Thurs, and ended up working until 4am the next morning.  There's no way I would have been able to do that on the previous diet.  Despite the dire situation (network outage) I was able to stay relaxed and focused the entire time.

Another thing is that lately in the past three months or so, I had gained love handles.  It's gross.  Now, they're rapidly melting away, and I think I'm going to have abs again probably in a few weeks.  Other thing is boozing.  I've never been much of a booze-hound, but I would enjoy having a drink or two after work.  Well, since I've made these changes, I've had zero desire for alcohol.  I know it's not good for you (I don't think small amounts are too deleterious), but it would always take the edge off, and help me relax.  Well, now when I think about drinking booze, all I can think of is how it wouldn't improve my state (only degrade it)--and the desire is just not there.  I just totally stopped drinking, and didn't even have to try.  Weird how diet can do that.  

Or is it?  You really are what you eat.  I know ketogenic diets are anti-inflammatory.  But I also suspect it's cumulative effects of years of experimentation (time of Caloric ingestion), eliminating bullshit (I still have carbs on Saturday), and getting the macros right.  Definitely gives me new appreciation for the importance of proper diet. 

More massive changes

 Holy shiznit, things are changing a lot.  Still have no idea of when it's going to happen, but I'm happy as long as I continually see positive improvement.  I am beginning to get some semblance of depth, as I walk past objects on the counter.  I notice I can pay attention through both eyes (weird to think about), and use those two images to infer some type of depth (it is not quite stereopsis--but it's getting there).  Weird that I'm seeing so much fast improvement, and so far along.  I think it may be somewhat related to dietary changes.  I'm eating super clean, and eating basically a ton of eggs for breakfast, and then salad and chicken as the linner meal, and then eating nothing in the evening.

What gives me hope...

 ... is how malleable the visual system is.  One thing that comes to mind is inverting glasses.  There are glasses you can buy out there that will flip your vision upside-down.  The brain is so crazy that if you wear these glasses long enough, the input will eventually flip itself again in the brain, and everything will then appear as normal.  However, when you take them off, the world will be upside-down again, and it will appear that way until the brain adjusts to having non-inverted vision.

The brain is so nuts man.  Progress is still coming.  I am noticing near weekly changes, but the changes that are occurring are pretty significant... especially when playing games in VR and reading text.

Long ramp (it is the brain)

 I realized it's been a while since I'd done an update--not so much because there's nothing exciting to say.  I don't have anything exciting or new to say.  This is just an update.  

I have nothing exciting or interesting to say, but that doesn't mean I'm not excited.  It's just that progress is so damn smooth.   I am noticing regular weekly changes.  I periodically think about how things might be different if I had a vision therapist and did what they recommended: getting prism glasses, and doing this or that.  But I'm happy with how things are going. 

I really think now more and more that it is the brain.  That's the bottleneck.  These weekly improvements to my vision (reduced diplopia, improved accommodation agreement between the eyes, improved cosmetics (the appearance of my eyes looks normal now--less perceived misalignment)).  My hardware (eyes and eye muscles and whatnot) is all good.  What's needed now is time, and for my visual system to get used using the new path that I've painstakingly paved for it. 

If that's true, then it may be time to get out the electrodes again, and begin combining stimulating my visual cortex with tDCS (transcranial direct current stimulation) again with other activities that stimulate my binocular neurons.   Maybe... get the cathodes on the occipital lobes for 20 minutes or so, and then do VR for an hour or so... in order to tell the brain that I mean business. 

BIG changes are coming

 I had a CRAZY experience last night while watching TV.

Well... I finally know what it's like to use both eyes at the same time.  I was sitting there on my couch, relaxed *ahem*.  Paying attention through both eyes.  It was a bit weird and awkward, and it suddenly made me think of driver's education and driving for the first time in a parking lot.  The pedals felt stiff and jerky.  Every movement, action, and maneuver I made was conscious decision.  But then I remembered that this is how it works.  That's how it starts.  After a day or so, you've demoted those functions to the unconscious, and no longer have to think about driving.

I just sat there, for maybe ... 45 minutes, not even really watching TV, but playing with my eyes, noticing how good it felt, consciously adjusting accommodation for each eye in real time, not stressing, but just calm focus.  It felt incredibly good.  It's the weirdest thing to explain. 

Then I thought about Heather and her description of her 'Columns' exercise she gave me about 10 years ago.  She said this was her breakthrough after doing a few days of Syntonics (hence the name of this blog).  She mentioned that when she was flitting from one eye to another with the barrier cardboard in between it 'felt good'.  I'm pretty sure we were experiencing the same sensation.  Wild shit.  Big changes are coming.  Crikey.

Crikey McShitnuggets

 Saw a big jump today. I haven't changed anything I'm doing.  Really, vision therapy consists of virtual reality gaming, as well as mindfulness about binocular posture in general.  I've been thinking a lot recently that in vision therapy, a lot can be achieved through mindfulness alone.  

I've been thinking about thinking a lot lately, and thinking about the mental states we go through, and how we're, for the most part, just victims of causality, and really just going from one mental state to another, constantly buffeted around like the silver chrome ball in a game of pinball.  Most of the time we have no idea why we think and do things the way we do, and if we really just paid attention to our thoughts, sorted out what's useful, and what's not, we could be so much more effective as individuals.  

I've been thinking about myself and my visual system, and our relationship and how it's changed over time.  It's really similar to how one's relationship to a sport or subject changes over time when one spends an incredible amount of time and thought on that sport or subject.  Your neurons build around that object.  

Initially, you don't know anything about whatever-it-is.  You only have the most coarse and basic understanding.  Then you start poking at it, looking at if from different vantage points.  Your understanding, while still small, builds.  You quickly take that information in, incorporate it into your database, but for whatever reason, you still want more.  You get on top of it, and climb inside.  Now you know what it looks like from inside out.  But there's still more.  You notice all these little details, you poke at them.  The more 'curious' time you spend on it, the bigger the object's imprint on your mind.  The closer you look, the more there is, and it never stops.  This is how some people become unfathomably good at some things.  They've spent more time than you have building their database about that subject.  That could be for any reason.  Maybe they're more interested in it, and maybe they've just had more time than you. 

This describes my relationship with my visual system exactly, particularly when I'm talking about Zeno Paradox where, objectively, everything is improving always.  There is only one direction and that is improvement.  But also, the more I look, the more there is, and the more work I have to do.  It's a bit discouraging at times, but also exciting when I think about it.  Because I am a curious person, and I enjoy exploration.  And I am a kind of philosophical person by nature.  And I do find myself often having philosophical thoughts when doing vision therapy and thinking about vision therapy.  

My vision is indeed better now than it ever has been.  My mental resolution and mental representations about the subject are ever-increasing.  I have spent an ungodly number of curious hours on this.  And I think I just have to keep going and keep thinking and keep building and developing my mental representations of my visual system.  As said in previous entries, one of the objective markers I've used for checking on progress is the difference in accommodation between the two eyes particularly when reading text up close.  I've seen quite a lot of improvement and I haven't really been doing anything new or different, or even 'vision therapy'.  It's been basically mindfulness about binocular posture entirely.  I wonder how I'm going to use this knowledge moving forward when I've achieved my goals and am totally done with vision therapy. 

Progress is crawling, but still steady (may need to bust out the electrodes)

I'm still noticing continual improvement, but I've got my eye on the objective markers (distance between double images, and difference in accommodation for different eyes).  Make no mistake, my vision is now at the best place it's ever been.  But there's still quite a bit of work to do.  I may get back into reading again, but doing so with electrodes strapped on my occipital lobes (tDCS).

Haven't used it in a while, but there is definitely scientific studies behind it which suggest it may help with making changes to one's visual system, so I'm curious to see whether this has any impact.  It sounds a little crazy to run current through your head in this way, but it's only about 2 milliampers, which is the amount of current that's going through your head at any given moment anyway.  Plus, the US military uses tDCS to save time on training people by increasing the effectiveness of their brains.  The US military definitely wouldn't do anything dangerous to its own people, right?