Noticing changes and continuing to get a grip

I took a four day break from vision therapy.  I went on vacation to Miami with my girlfriend.

It was interesting.  Sometimes I notice changes in my vision when I lack sleep, or something jars my nervous system.   For instance, on the day that I left for Miami I slept for like two hours so that I could make the jet because it departed at six am.  I remember on the flight I didn't have any thing to do or read, so I was looking around on the plane the entire time, playing with my vision.  I noticed that my left eye was 'on', more or less the entire time.  It was pretty damn cool.  Still had diplopia and whatnot, but not a whole lot.  The spread of the double images wasn't bad.  It was the feeling, and the awareness that I had of the eyes being on that I found enthralling.  It felt different and I did my best to hold onto it.

Today was the first day that I did vision therapy since last Wednesday.  I noticed improvement in both the fixation cards and the Brock String.  I noticed quite a bit more depth with the Brock String.

The fixation cards are getting better.  The change in the accommodation differences is getting more manageable.  It seems like the accommodation improves quite a lot toward the end of the 12 minutes.  I think one technique that appears to be working is fixing mostly with the left eye, since the right eye oddly stays well accommodated on the target.  When I bring the card closer, accommodation on one of the targets breaks down, but by fixing hard on the left eye, I can get them both very damn near close to perfect accommodation.  This technique seems to help stretch the ability for my eyes to accommodate in synchrony.

I am again getting excited.  Vision therapy is nothing if not a roller coaster of emotions.  Up, down, confused, excited, dejected, enthralled, depressed, and sanguine all over again.

I found out recently that Davina Klatsky died.  She's someone I met from Vision Therapy for Adults, and who joined DIY Vision therapy (both strabismus Facebook groups).  It's so sad to hear.  She was a sweet, but tortured lady.  I forget all of the details, but I think she suffered a developmental disorder, which resulted in an asymmetry of her body.  She had a lot of complications in her health, strabismus being among the symptoms of those complications.  She was extremely self-conscious about her unique appearance, which one presumes was a result of the developmental disorder.  I thought she looked fine.  Her posts were, from what a remember, a bit frenetic, despairing, and angry about the lack of help available for people with strabismus.  Like I said, I got the impression that she really was a tortured soul.

But yeah.  I wasn't in her shoes.  Life can be brutal.  One can only speculate what it must have been like to be Davina.  Nonetheless, I liked her a lot; she was a sweet lady.  She was one of us.  May she rest in peace.