Yesterday I talked on the phone with Shane, a member of the DIY Vision Therapy group. I was interested in him because of a Facebook conversation we had earlier about the ketogenic diet. I mentioned that the energizing effects of the ketogenic diet seems to have a positive effect on my vision. He mentioned in that conversation that he knows of two others who claimed that their eyes had straightened themselves out while on the ketogenic diet.
So we talked for about an hour on the phone. We started basically with where we live. He's from Canada (I forget exactly where). I didn't get his age--not really important.
His condition is interesting, and sort of unusual. I was looking at his pictures as we were talking and commented that he looks normal, and that pushed me to ask 'do you have strabismus?' to which he answered yes. Apparently his strabismus is on and off. So sometimes his vision really looks normal--like a normal person, and sometimes, especially when he is tired, he gets rather significant exotopia--I couldn't wager a guess as to how many diopters, but it's significant. He said that his eyes are aligned maybe 50% of the time.
And interestingly he has full stereoscopic vision when he is fusing, and he is able to resolve Magic Eye puzzles, which is the ultimate test for stereopsis.
Like many others, Shane developed strabismus. I'm growing increasingly aware of those who were born with normal vision, and who had normal vision as children, but who got strabismus later. Shane got strabismus, I think when he was in fifth grade. I forget exactly the details, but apparently he got really, really sick, and got a fever of 104 degrees F. After that, he started getting exotropia periodically. He did mention that he thinks that perhaps vaccines which were given to him caused his strabismus--something to do with mercury and aluminum getting past the blood-brain barrier. I sort of doubt it's the vaccines, and possibly to do with damage done by the illness. There could possibly be a genetic component as well, since he mentioned he has a cousin with strabismus.
We did talk a bit about drugs and the ketogenic diet. Shane has used Ritalin and Adderal to treat his ADHD. He noted that he had no vision problems when he was on Adderal, which is speed. But he had to stop taking it because it was destroying his teeth. He also used Wellbutrin for some off-label use, and said that it also seemed to have positive effects on his vision, although he stopped since it seemed to have a lot of side-effects.
I noted that the ketogenic diet--when you're really in ketosis--appears to have some antidepressive effects. That is, the feeling that I have when I'm in ketosis is familiar and similar to the feeling of being on an effective antidepressant. [As an aside, I have had experience with depression (basically my entire life) and antidepresssants (for about three years). I no longer have depression and haven't needed antidepressants at all for about two years. Obviously there's more to be said there, but that's a long aside. Main point, I have some experience with these drugs.]. Interestingly, I have heard of papers in which researchers have combined antidepressants with vision therapy with positive results. It is my understanding that some of these antidepressants can improve neuroplasticity. They definitely improve mood. For me what's interesting is how similar the feeling is between being on a well functioning SSRI and being on the ketogenic flow. It is a very specific feeling, and it feels great. It's coupled with very high levels of feelings of well being, focus, cognitive energy, easier breathing, diminished appetite, and diminished sex drive. And I notice that it appears to have a positive effect on vision therapy. So I wonder what's going on with a ketogenic brain, and why the effects seem to be so similar, at least for me.
[edit: I did some research and found that there have been some findings on the antidepressive effects of a ketogenic diet]
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15601609
Shane did mention that he knows of two others who mentioned that their eyes straightened out while in the ketogenic diet, but we didn't really get into any details of that. They're people in some zero-carb Facebook group. I just joined the group, so I'm going to investigate a bit more. There are 10,000 members... so it should be interesting.
I guess what's notable about the past three paragraphs or so is the idea that there are things you can put inside your body which can possibly influence and improve your ability to fix your vision. More work for me. More stuff to look into.
Aside from that, he did ask me a number of questions regarding vision therapy, like 'is it effective', and surgery and LASIK, and whatnot. I basically said that surgery sometimes works, but it's risky. I told him that vision therapy definitely works, but there are a number of caveats. And that was basically the extent of the conversation. It was pretty good. Pretty interesting and eye-opening. Heh. And with that awe-inspiring paragraph, I will now stop writing.
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
Slowing down
I think I got a little too excited a number of entries ago.
I'm not sure what's going on, but it seems almost like I'm going slightly backwards--but not quite. Before I was talking about how I was quickly going down in prism, and that I was basically working with two diopters to zero prism, and I was using this focus/fixing technique to stretch the accommodation reflex to where it should be. Well today I had to go back to the four diopter prism. I probably wasn't ready to go down in prism just yet.
Anyway--strangely--I think things are still improving though. Some things involving Vivid Vision.
But yeah, I'm going to sort of move according to my current abilities so that I can achieve the focus/fixing technique, which seems to work. Important not to get ahead of myself. That's the whole point of prisms.
I'm not sure what's going on, but it seems almost like I'm going slightly backwards--but not quite. Before I was talking about how I was quickly going down in prism, and that I was basically working with two diopters to zero prism, and I was using this focus/fixing technique to stretch the accommodation reflex to where it should be. Well today I had to go back to the four diopter prism. I probably wasn't ready to go down in prism just yet.
Anyway--strangely--I think things are still improving though. Some things involving Vivid Vision.
But yeah, I'm going to sort of move according to my current abilities so that I can achieve the focus/fixing technique, which seems to work. Important not to get ahead of myself. That's the whole point of prisms.
Sunday, January 1, 2017
What seems to be happening
There are a few things that I'm noticing that are happening. I'm still seeing improvement, but also changes in unexpected ways.
One thing is that I'm correcting more for my hypertropia. This makes sense because I'm not ever doing any exercises which accommodate for my hypertropia. I suspect it's happening because my esotropia is improving so much, and that's decreasing my suppression, and so the result is that what's standing out the most is the hypertropia, which jumps out into the foreground, and so it's on me to actively combat it.
Another thing that's unexpected is that I'm able to get up to the second to highest level in the fixation cards. I'm not quite there yet, but I saw a level of improvement that was unexpected. That begged the question 'just how much divergence does this require?'. Of course, that requries finding out my IPD, which I just did, using this mirror method. My IPD is 66 mm--50th percentile. Dead average. Then I measured the distance between the targets on the second to the top, which is about 55 cm. The very top is something like 70 mm, so I don't anticipate ever being able to get the top targets. Doing so would require going exo. But it does at least makes sense that the second to the top is achievable--and actually surprisingly achievable.
That's what's really so surprising--how much ground I'm covering in such a short amount of time. It's freaky. It's like every time I get excited about how fast I'm moving, something else puts it into perspective, and I'm reminded that yes I'm covering a lot of distance, but there is a lot of distance to cover, and you're not done yet.
The degrees of freedom are opening up. It's getting easier and easier to diverge and converge and focus on different things, but it should be very easy to get everywhere. There shouldn't be some default area where my eyes want to situate themselves which makes it harder for them to go in some areas than others. The resting place should be neutral, and my eyes should go from one place to another with facility. I'm not there yet. There is still some tuning of the accommodation reflex that is required. That is apparently my key to a neutral binocular posture. A more neutral posture will then enable antisuppression exercises to really be beneficial. That will make the hypetropia even more obvious, which I will then tend to. And it will go into a cycle, which tightens up until I have a totally neutral posture with no angular deviation.
One thing is that I'm correcting more for my hypertropia. This makes sense because I'm not ever doing any exercises which accommodate for my hypertropia. I suspect it's happening because my esotropia is improving so much, and that's decreasing my suppression, and so the result is that what's standing out the most is the hypertropia, which jumps out into the foreground, and so it's on me to actively combat it.
Another thing that's unexpected is that I'm able to get up to the second to highest level in the fixation cards. I'm not quite there yet, but I saw a level of improvement that was unexpected. That begged the question 'just how much divergence does this require?'. Of course, that requries finding out my IPD, which I just did, using this mirror method. My IPD is 66 mm--50th percentile. Dead average. Then I measured the distance between the targets on the second to the top, which is about 55 cm. The very top is something like 70 mm, so I don't anticipate ever being able to get the top targets. Doing so would require going exo. But it does at least makes sense that the second to the top is achievable--and actually surprisingly achievable.
That's what's really so surprising--how much ground I'm covering in such a short amount of time. It's freaky. It's like every time I get excited about how fast I'm moving, something else puts it into perspective, and I'm reminded that yes I'm covering a lot of distance, but there is a lot of distance to cover, and you're not done yet.
The degrees of freedom are opening up. It's getting easier and easier to diverge and converge and focus on different things, but it should be very easy to get everywhere. There shouldn't be some default area where my eyes want to situate themselves which makes it harder for them to go in some areas than others. The resting place should be neutral, and my eyes should go from one place to another with facility. I'm not there yet. There is still some tuning of the accommodation reflex that is required. That is apparently my key to a neutral binocular posture. A more neutral posture will then enable antisuppression exercises to really be beneficial. That will make the hypetropia even more obvious, which I will then tend to. And it will go into a cycle, which tightens up until I have a totally neutral posture with no angular deviation.
Friday, December 30, 2016
Steady progress
Seems like I slowed down in the past week or so. For a while there it seemed like progress was occurring extremely quickly.
To be clear, I still think I am making rather smooth progress. It is just that the perceived improvement isn't always so smooth. That is one of the benefits of doing so many different exercises. Vision therapy exercises, almost by definition, provide you a meter with which to gauge progress. Having a variety of different gauges is very beneficial for letting you know whether you are truly stuck, or just having a poopy day.
Actually all of my gauges are pointing to smooth incremental improvement. The prisms and fixation cards. Check. I'm now vacillating between two diopter prism and no prism. I'm still working with that technique that I talked about before with getting good accommodation on the right eye, and focusing on fixation with the left.
I am noticing improvement about every day. It is a very incremental thing. Every day it takes less time to get equal acccommodation across the eyes. I've been experimenting with different 'fuse' 'focus' sets, from the bottom, to the bottom middle, to the top middle. I doubt I'll ever be able to fuse the top set because I think that would require going exotropic. I'm fairly certain that my eyes are straightening out, steadily.
I've been noticing this in particular with my modified Brock String. Diverging out to the last string has always been--not necessarily a pain in the ass--but it always required effort. Now it's pretty easy. In fact, going from each bead to the other has become very--quite--easy. Also moving the bead around my entire field of vision is seeing improvement. The distance between the double beads is getting smaller and smaller. Yeah, I keep saying that. But it's true.
Finally--oh yeah, I can't talk about Vivid Vision. I am working on it. It is software for people with strabismus. It, like other vision training, provides feedback. I'm seeing improvement in that as well. Alright.
To be clear, I still think I am making rather smooth progress. It is just that the perceived improvement isn't always so smooth. That is one of the benefits of doing so many different exercises. Vision therapy exercises, almost by definition, provide you a meter with which to gauge progress. Having a variety of different gauges is very beneficial for letting you know whether you are truly stuck, or just having a poopy day.
Actually all of my gauges are pointing to smooth incremental improvement. The prisms and fixation cards. Check. I'm now vacillating between two diopter prism and no prism. I'm still working with that technique that I talked about before with getting good accommodation on the right eye, and focusing on fixation with the left.
I am noticing improvement about every day. It is a very incremental thing. Every day it takes less time to get equal acccommodation across the eyes. I've been experimenting with different 'fuse' 'focus' sets, from the bottom, to the bottom middle, to the top middle. I doubt I'll ever be able to fuse the top set because I think that would require going exotropic. I'm fairly certain that my eyes are straightening out, steadily.
I've been noticing this in particular with my modified Brock String. Diverging out to the last string has always been--not necessarily a pain in the ass--but it always required effort. Now it's pretty easy. In fact, going from each bead to the other has become very--quite--easy. Also moving the bead around my entire field of vision is seeing improvement. The distance between the double beads is getting smaller and smaller. Yeah, I keep saying that. But it's true.
Finally--oh yeah, I can't talk about Vivid Vision. I am working on it. It is software for people with strabismus. It, like other vision training, provides feedback. I'm seeing improvement in that as well. Alright.
Saturday, December 17, 2016
More progress with stuff
More progress with fixation cards and prisms, columns, modified Brock String, and Vivid Vision.
Quite a bit more.
Last entry I talked a bit about how I was doing fixation cards exercises with four diopter prisms and sometimes removing the prism altogether.
I wasn't quite ready for removing the prism altogether. I was ready for a reduction of prism.
Currently I'm ... and this is really fascinating to observe for myself. Currently, I'm sort of alternating between two diopter prism and no prism when doing fixation card exercises. About two minutes in I stop using the prism, and then go without. Sometimes I put it back in. But day after day I notice that I need prism less and less. It is fucking awesome to see. I don't know how the visual system works, but I know how to interact with it. I know how to improve it.
Today I used the two diopter prism maybe for total of two minutes during the fixation cards exercise. I could tell that it was a productive session, and I was able to fix both eyes for a good part of it.
One thing I want to say that has been really helpful was this technique I developed a while back, in which I would focus on getting perfect accommodation on my right eye, and then pay attention to fixing with the left eye. There was a sort of stickiness to the accommodation on the right eye, so it would stay accommodated, while fixing with the left eye. This, I believe, was helping me override the accommodation reflex and force simultaneous accommodation. But more than that, it gave me feedback which told me what good binocular posture feels like. I've been using those feelings to use in my everyday experience. So it's sort of become a reinforcing habit. In a way, I feel like I'm now building and reinforcing binocular vision skills even when I'm not technically doing vision therapy. I'm gaining stereopsis without vision therapy. It's become a self-reinforcing thing. It feels like that.
Anyway, Brock String was freaking awesome. The double image beads are so close to each other. Divergence and convergence are getting very easy. I'm noticing this ability everywhere now.
As mentioned in previous entries, I cannot talk about the Vivid Vision stuff too much. But I'm doing it every day. I think it's part of what's helping. I think it's going to be very useful software for many people. I was sort of pissed off when I heard that the software is going to only be available to be administered as part of a program with vision therapists. But now I 100% understand their decision to do it this way. It's not a liability thing. It is because guidance is needed in this sort of enterprise. And Vivid Vision is going to be a very powerful and useful tool in the vision therapy toolkit.
What else... uhhh, Doom 3 BFG Edition. Holy crap.
Not really sure what Doom 3 BFG Edition is. It's something about making Doom 3 work better with 3d. But someone made a Vive mod for it. And it's fucking awesome. If you have a Vive, you need to get Doom 3 BFG and then mod it for the Vive. It is one of the best games for the Vive, period. It costs like $4.
It's sort of funny because the game is 13 years old, so it's made to run on 13-year old graphics cards, so it runs incredibly well on the Vive. It's weird because it's hard to imagine playing a normal WASD FPS-type game with two hand-held motion controls. But the modders made it work. Very well. The quality of the game really comes through, and even though it's 13 years old, it feels like the game is made for VR. And like I said, not just like any VR game, but a really good VR game. I've yet to encounter any bugs. Everything works very well. The graphics are great. And it's really scary. Because everything is in stereo 3d, and very high quality with no glitches, it's sort of like playing Doom 3 for the very first time, but in a way that's waaaayyy better and more immersive than any prior experience of Doom 3. It's just awesome. And it's $4.
Quite a bit more.
Last entry I talked a bit about how I was doing fixation cards exercises with four diopter prisms and sometimes removing the prism altogether.
I wasn't quite ready for removing the prism altogether. I was ready for a reduction of prism.
Currently I'm ... and this is really fascinating to observe for myself. Currently, I'm sort of alternating between two diopter prism and no prism when doing fixation card exercises. About two minutes in I stop using the prism, and then go without. Sometimes I put it back in. But day after day I notice that I need prism less and less. It is fucking awesome to see. I don't know how the visual system works, but I know how to interact with it. I know how to improve it.
Today I used the two diopter prism maybe for total of two minutes during the fixation cards exercise. I could tell that it was a productive session, and I was able to fix both eyes for a good part of it.
One thing I want to say that has been really helpful was this technique I developed a while back, in which I would focus on getting perfect accommodation on my right eye, and then pay attention to fixing with the left eye. There was a sort of stickiness to the accommodation on the right eye, so it would stay accommodated, while fixing with the left eye. This, I believe, was helping me override the accommodation reflex and force simultaneous accommodation. But more than that, it gave me feedback which told me what good binocular posture feels like. I've been using those feelings to use in my everyday experience. So it's sort of become a reinforcing habit. In a way, I feel like I'm now building and reinforcing binocular vision skills even when I'm not technically doing vision therapy. I'm gaining stereopsis without vision therapy. It's become a self-reinforcing thing. It feels like that.
Anyway, Brock String was freaking awesome. The double image beads are so close to each other. Divergence and convergence are getting very easy. I'm noticing this ability everywhere now.
As mentioned in previous entries, I cannot talk about the Vivid Vision stuff too much. But I'm doing it every day. I think it's part of what's helping. I think it's going to be very useful software for many people. I was sort of pissed off when I heard that the software is going to only be available to be administered as part of a program with vision therapists. But now I 100% understand their decision to do it this way. It's not a liability thing. It is because guidance is needed in this sort of enterprise. And Vivid Vision is going to be a very powerful and useful tool in the vision therapy toolkit.
What else... uhhh, Doom 3 BFG Edition. Holy crap.
Not really sure what Doom 3 BFG Edition is. It's something about making Doom 3 work better with 3d. But someone made a Vive mod for it. And it's fucking awesome. If you have a Vive, you need to get Doom 3 BFG and then mod it for the Vive. It is one of the best games for the Vive, period. It costs like $4.
It's sort of funny because the game is 13 years old, so it's made to run on 13-year old graphics cards, so it runs incredibly well on the Vive. It's weird because it's hard to imagine playing a normal WASD FPS-type game with two hand-held motion controls. But the modders made it work. Very well. The quality of the game really comes through, and even though it's 13 years old, it feels like the game is made for VR. And like I said, not just like any VR game, but a really good VR game. I've yet to encounter any bugs. Everything works very well. The graphics are great. And it's really scary. Because everything is in stereo 3d, and very high quality with no glitches, it's sort of like playing Doom 3 for the very first time, but in a way that's waaaayyy better and more immersive than any prior experience of Doom 3. It's just awesome. And it's $4.
What is vision therapy like?
Imagine playing the hardest video game ever made. You've never played the game before. The tutorials for the game are in a different language. You have to create the controller with your mind.
That should give you a rough idea of what you're dealing with when doing vision therapy as an adult. Perhaps the most challenging aspect of vision therapy is knowing whether you're actually doing it effectively.
In the past month or so I've become increasingly confident that I am in fact doing vision therapy. I have gotten to the point where I am doing a particular thing in an exercise and I can say with reasonable confidence 'this is helping me gain stereo vision. I will notice the effects of what I am doing in this moment later on.'. I have become intimate with my visual system, and fluent in vision therapy. I have finally built my controller, and I am now able to really play the game. And goddamn, it feels good.
It reminds me of something that Susan Barry said in a Vivid Vision Spotlights podcast. She was talking about how important it is in vision therapy for the student to have a sense of ownership of the process, to actively see changes which result from the exercises he is doing, and to experience the control he has over the outcome. Beyond all of the awesomeness involving stereo vision, she was talking about how empowering it is to be able to radically change your experience of life via hard work and diligence via vision therapy. I already liked Susan Barry a lot, but after listening to those podcasts... man, she's just great. Super awesome person.
I don't yet have stereo vision. But I am now at a point at which I can see the connection between my exercises and the changes in my vision so vividly. It is already very rewarding. The changes are happening so quickly. My grasp on how to do vision therapy has improved so much. It's a very exciting time for me.
Alright, I'm going to do a separate entry for what's actually going on.
That should give you a rough idea of what you're dealing with when doing vision therapy as an adult. Perhaps the most challenging aspect of vision therapy is knowing whether you're actually doing it effectively.
In the past month or so I've become increasingly confident that I am in fact doing vision therapy. I have gotten to the point where I am doing a particular thing in an exercise and I can say with reasonable confidence 'this is helping me gain stereo vision. I will notice the effects of what I am doing in this moment later on.'. I have become intimate with my visual system, and fluent in vision therapy. I have finally built my controller, and I am now able to really play the game. And goddamn, it feels good.
It reminds me of something that Susan Barry said in a Vivid Vision Spotlights podcast. She was talking about how important it is in vision therapy for the student to have a sense of ownership of the process, to actively see changes which result from the exercises he is doing, and to experience the control he has over the outcome. Beyond all of the awesomeness involving stereo vision, she was talking about how empowering it is to be able to radically change your experience of life via hard work and diligence via vision therapy. I already liked Susan Barry a lot, but after listening to those podcasts... man, she's just great. Super awesome person.
I don't yet have stereo vision. But I am now at a point at which I can see the connection between my exercises and the changes in my vision so vividly. It is already very rewarding. The changes are happening so quickly. My grasp on how to do vision therapy has improved so much. It's a very exciting time for me.
Alright, I'm going to do a separate entry for what's actually going on.
Tuesday, December 6, 2016
Making good progress with fixation cards, Brock String and Vivid Vision
Making good progress. I've become very sensitive to change, and I can see changes occurring with objective metrics. So even though I'm noticing changes on a near daily basis, I can tell there is quite a bit more work to do, because I know that every step I take is going to be deliberate painstaking work.
I'm still making progress with the fixation cards. As of now, I start with attempting to fuse with a four diopter prism. Then about four minutes in, I try without any prism. Sometimes I put it back in. I've noticed huge changes in my ability to get both eyes to accommodate in near synchrony. Still no depth the fixation cards.
Brock String is still doing really well. The double images are still getting closer to one another, even in the trouble areas.
In addition to Fixation cards, columns, and Brock String, I've begun to work with Vivid Vision. I signed an NDA so I cannot talk about it, but I'm helping them test and debug some of the software. I think it might be helping my vision in addition to the other vision therapy exercises I'm doing.
My last conscious hour every day in the past week has been reading this new book that I'd heard about from James Altucher's podcast. It's called Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise.
https://www.amazon.com/Peak-Secrets-New-Science-Expertise/dp/0544456238/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1481083665&sr=8-1&keywords=peak+secrets+from+the+new+science+of+expertise+by+anders+ericsson
It was written by a guy who holds the record for having the most Swedish-sounding name ever: Anders Ericsson. It's a pretty cool book. The central thesis of the book is that we can create our potential, and we can create talent. This is in contrast to the view that genes determine our potential, and it's up to us as to whether we fulfill that potential.
To me, that idea sounds a little confusing at the outset--that we can create our potential. I think maybe a more accurate and less confusing way of putting it is that ordinary people have much more potential than we realize. And whether that potential is realized depends a lot on the quality of training techniques that are implemented.
In the book he talks a lot about the idea of deliberate practice, which--I'm not going to get into it, but it's a much more focused and active kind of practice. Constantly probing for where you're weak, thinking about what you're doing, and what may need to be done, or stripped away. It's active and deliberate. He compared this to the ordinary way in which people learn, which is that people pick something up, and get to the point where they're 'good enough', and then they stop improving, and keep doing what they're doing, because there's no apparent reason to. They're 'good enough'.
Well, that really struck a chord with me, because this 'deliberate practice' is exactly what I'm been doing with vision therapy, particularly in the past few months. In fact, thinking about thinking, and thinking about learning, has been something that I only really started doing sometime around 30 years old, and it's had tremendously beneficial effects on me, in all aspects of life. It has definitely coincided with the improvement in the quality of my life.
But anyway... cool book so far. Very, extremely relevant to people who are doing vision therapy as adults.
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