#137 session

This is out of order since I accidentally posted it to a different blog.

Quick update.  Things are definitely moving along.  I'm noticing now that when I move my eyes to a target, they're both landing there pretty much automatically.  Now it's just a matter of hardening it down, getting rid of the preference of the right eye, and fusing.

One of the exercises that's looking really good is Bouncy.  The hypertropia is almost gone completely from that exercise.  Saccades is great as well.  There is still some lag when I try to get the right posture with the left eye when looking at the clown at the lower right-hand side of the screen.  Other than that, it's great.

I guess that's another value of having multiple difference exercises to do: you may not always notice improvement in the same exercise every day or so, but if you do multiple exercises, you're more likely to notice change in at least one of those exercises.  That gives you good feedback and a psychological boost.

#142 session-ish

I haven't done exercises yet today, and I didn't do them yesterday.  I'm finding that it's good to take a day break every once in a while.

I got my contact lenses.  My eyes are all red and bothered as a result of my inexperience with taking them in and out.  When the doctor put the contacts in I immediately noticed more depth.  It's hard to say whether it was real or the power of suggestion.  I think it was probably real.  It was a small amount of correction.  Supposedly I have a small astigmatism on the left eye and some myopia on the right eye, but the doctor says it's so small that he said I don't even need the contacts.  I told him that I wanted them anyway.  Whatever small refractive error I can have fixed, I want it fixed so to make fusion simpler.

I have noticed some substantial progress since I've had the contacts even though I've only worn them for a day.  I'm taking a break for my eyes until the inflammation goes down.

What is there to say about my actual vision?  I'm noticing that my eyes are automatically landing where they should--both of them.  I'm noticing significantly less suppression.  Like when I look at individual objects.  Also--the depth is increasing.  I wish I could say more than that right now.

Good day

I haven't done my exercises yet today, but today I noticed a rather big change in my vision.  There's significantly less suppression, and significantly better motor control.

One of the things that I did last night which may have contributed to the perceived differences is this: when I was doing light tube exercises, I did my normal thing of engaging the lazy eye so that the scene is bright as possible.  In addition to that, I started moving my head side to side so that the left side of my face would be turned toward the light, and then turning it so that the right side of my face would be turned toward the light.

One of the things that I noticed when I did this is that it was challenging keeping a singular view of the scene.  Especially when I turned to the right, I noticed that the lazy eye's image of the glowing circle would dip lower.  And then when I adjusted and turned to the left, it would rise up higher. So I slowed down the rate at which I turned my head side to side so that it was slow enough that the control I have over the eye was able to prevent the lazy eye image from dipping lower.  If I rotate slowly enough I'm able to maintain a singular view of the glowing circle.  Then I sped my rotating a little bit so that I was right on the edge where I was able to maintain a singular view of the glowing circle, but just barely.  I just kept it there at that edge of motor and sensory fusion all the while focusing on making the scene as bright as possible.  I'm going to do this again today later when I come back from the gym.

But yeah, when I was walking around today, I started noticing things that I wasn't noticing before, like these lighting fixtures above me.  It suddenly occurred to me how low they sit relative to the height of the ceiling.  Also, it occurred to me how much more powerful my sense of motion parallax is when I looked through windows.  I know Susan talks a bit about that in Fixing My Gaze.  Big changes were noticed today.

Random thought

I just had a thought that I wanted to crystallize.  The real purpose of these exercises is, in fact, feedback.  That's what it's all about.  If you think about what you're learning while doing the exercises and then apply them when you're going about your day you'll have much quicker results because you'll be doing the rewiring of your brain while you're not doing exercises, which is to say, nearly all of the time.  Your neurons are going to be paving new pathways throughout the day instead of during the mere minutes of daily VT that you may be doing.

#134 session: focusing on the feeling

This is just a quick status update.  I'm still doing this regimen every day.  It takes up a lot of freaking time, especially with my new job, commuting, etc.  It sort of sucks, actually.

1. 20 minutes of Columns: around 14 minutes on the regular Column sheet working on motor ability, and for the other six minutes I focus on the star sheet and work on my peripheral vision 
2. Ten minutes of Bouncy and saccades combined
3. 40 minutes of light tube

I just started cycling through the filters again.  I had used the magenta Alpha Delta filters for a long freaking time, and now I'm on Mu Upsilon.  I noticed some change today as a result.  It's all very incremental, but I am noticing the changes almost every day--certainly every week.  I can't help but think that I wasted a lot of time by not getting contact lenses a long time ago.  If I have an accommodation insufficiency (my doctor's notes from when I was a toddler indicate that I had some 'modest hyperopia'), it's small.  But every bit should help.  I can't help but think that the reason this has all taken me so long is because I've been plowing through several problems all at once, such as eccentric fixation and accommodation insufficiency, and I'm slowly fixing these problems with my exercises.  The plan is for me to get prescribed lenses by an optometrist next week.

What else... yeah, I've just been pondering a bit about my light tube exercises and how to do them, since 'how to do Syntonics' is a question that often pops up.  The answer you hear is often 'just stare into the light'.  My answer is more complicated and involves words like 'feedback'.  I am definitely of the opinion that simply looking into the light wouldn't have had much benefit for me.  It's been useful to me as a feedback device primarily, and then perhaps all of the syntonicky stuff secondarily.  

I'd talked a bit about it in previous entries about not allowing the motor neurons to let go of the eyeball, while keeping the lazy eye's image engaged by the brain.  The way you know that the motor neurons are engaged on the eyeball is that you can feel the muscles on the eye.  It's somewhat unpleasant and can be stressful.  But I think it's a feeling to hold onto.  I think ultimately by not letting go, I'll get rid of the driftage which is a result of allowing the motor neurons to let go of the eyeball.  The way you know that your brain is engaging the lazy eye's image is brightness.  When the scene is particularly bright, it means that you're suppressing less, and using more of the lazy eye's input than you are when the scene is dimmer.  For me at least, especially when doing the light tube, this is something that I've learned to do consciously.  When I consciously unsuppress, it gets brighter, and it is associated with a particular feeling.  It's almost like flexing a muscle.  When I think about that feeling and take command of that feeling, I've found that I can amplify it.  I think this is an avenue to explore.  

#130 session

Just a quick update.  Depth perception is improving and getting more intense.  It's very incremental, but I noticed a change in particular after this weekend.  I've been thinking a bit about the possibility of using drinking and hardcore exercise as tools for facilitating an overhaul of the brain's wiring--the rationale being that binge drinking on a given day (so that you feel it the next day) will damage dendrites and help clear out old pathways--or old habits--in this case, old, bad vision habits.  Then lots of cardio and exercise in between, and during days of aggressive VT will help create brain-derived neurotrophic factor and thus help create new neurons and generate new neural pathways--in this case, new preferable stereo-seeing vision habits.

It does seem to be working for me.  I am also beginning to notice some rivalry.  It's all happening.  It's happening slowly, but steadily it seems.  I'm going to try and see whether I can get some contact lenses.  If I have accommodation insufficiency, it's small.  But I'll take all of the help I can get.

#124 session

There are a few things that there are different since Monday.

Suppression is significantly less--this is just based on my perception as I go about my day, and particularly while doing Columns.

Perception of depth has also gone up quite a bit as was especially evident while playing Metro 2033: Last Light.

Today I only did a 20 minute session because it's late, and I would rather have the extra 20 minutes of sleep than an extra 20 minutes of VT.  Plus, my lazy eye is exhausted.  

When I did Columns today, the suppression was so low that I began to noticed some visual artifacts that are a result of cyclodeviation.  I saw the whole paper very clearly (despite the USPS envelope acting as a barrier between my two eyes), but there was a bend in the middle where the visual input splits.  It bent downward, which represented the counterclockwise twist on the lazy eye.  It should be low enough for me to be able to fix.  I'll try and see whether I can fix it next time. I did this time already, and I think I was able to correct it.  Let's see about tomorrow.

I'm going to go to sleep now.  Hopefully the fatigue will be less tomorrow.  We'll see what happens.  I am excite.