But in a good way.
I've seen some some massive major positive changes in the past week.
Depth is coming in. Two-eye coordination is becoming much better. Less and less double-vision.
In particular, I've noticed a much more powerful sense of immersion and depth while playing Half-Life: Alyx. I've mentioned before that depth cues seem to come more from things like virtual reality and 3d movies. I suspect it has something to do with the fact that the stereo depth cues are artificially generated, and are thus, engineered to created an exaggerated sense of depth. But I'm also noticing more and more depth while navigating the real world, particularly for objects that are up close.
But even now, for objects that are distant, it is now pretty easy to keep them single, or at least keep the double images on top of one another, whereas before, it was difficult to do. There are also some 'metrics' I've used for a long time to determine how much work there is left for me to do: metrics which are to do with problem areas I have, such as double vision in certain areas of vision, particularly when looking down. Looking down at my shoes, for instance, there's quite a lot more diplopia (distance between the double images), than there is for when, for instance, I'm looking straight ahead. Well, going by this metric, I have seen massive improvement, which corresponds to the subjective improvement that I experience: the newly experienced quale of depth.
It is a bit jarring to get these periodic flashes of depth, particularly from the perspective of knowing that these experiences are only going to get a lot more intense in the coming days.
And also, I'm no longer worried about the prospect of fucking up my vision. That was an anxiety I've had a long time ago, which is instilled by a lot of vision therapists: do not do vision therapy on your own, or you will fuck up your vision. As far as I know, this is a real risk, although, it was a risk I was willing to take. I was worried, in particular, about developing ARC (anomalous retinal correspondence), and the development of a faux fovea, or false fixation point on one of my retinas--or developing severe double vision as a result of a loss of suppression without yet having full control of my eyes, resulting in massive permanent migraines (although one could technically wear a patch to get around that problem). I think I'm past that point. The only anxiety I have now is the knowledge I have that I will soon be launched into another reality: the world of 3d. And it will be a permanent relocation--or at least until something kills me, or if I get a twig stuck in one of my eyes.
